| If you save yourself for marriage, you’re a bore
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| If you don’t save yourself for marriage, you’re a horrible person
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| If you won’t have a drink, then you’re a prude
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| But they’ll call you a drunk as soon as you down the first one
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| If you can’t lose the weight, then you’re just fat
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| But if you lose too much, then you’re on crack
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| You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t
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| So, you might as well just do whatever you want
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| So, make lots of noise, kiss lots of boys
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| Or kiss lots of girls if that’s somethin' you’re into
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| When the straight and narrow gets a little too straight
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| Roll up a joint, or don’t
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| Just follow your arrow wherever it points
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| Yeah, follow your arrow wherever it points
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| If you don’t go to church, you’ll go to Hell
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| If you’re the first one on the front row, you’re a self-righteous son of a…
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| Can’t win for losin', you’ll just disappoint 'em
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| Just 'cause you can’t beat 'em don’t mean you should join 'em
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| So, make lots of noise, kiss lots of boys
 | 
| Or kiss lots of girls if that’s somethin' you’re into
 | 
| When the straight and narrow gets a little too straight
 | 
| Roll up a joint, or don’t
 | 
| Just follow your arrow wherever it points
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| Yeah, follow your arrow wherever it points
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| Say what you think, love who you love
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| 'Cause you just get so many trips around the sun
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| Yeah, you only…
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| Only live once
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| So, make lots of noise, kiss lots of boys
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| Or kiss lots of girls if that’s what you’re into
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| When the straight and narrow gets a little too straight
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| Roll up a joint, I would
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| And follow your arrow wherever it points
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| Yeah, follow your arrow wherever it points |