| Well, I wake up in the morning
|
| There’s frogs inside my socks
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| Your mama, she’s hidin'
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| Inside the icebox
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| Your daddy walks in wearin'
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| A Napoleon Bonaparte mask
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| Then you ask why I don’t live here
|
| Honey, do you have to ask?
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| Well, I go to pet your monkey
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| I get a face full of claws
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| I ask who’s in the fireplace
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| And you tell me Santa Claus
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| The milkman comes in
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| He’s wearing a derby hat
|
| And you ask why I don’t live here
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| Honey, how come you have to ask me that?
|
| Well, I asked for somethin' to eat
|
| I’m hungry as a hog
|
| So I get brown rice, seaweed
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| And a dirty hot dog
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| I’ve got a hole
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| Where my stomach disappeared
|
| Then you ask why I don’t live here
|
| Honey, I gotta' think you’re really weird
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| Your grandpa’s cane
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| It turns into a sword
|
| Your grandma prays to pictures
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| That are pasted on a board
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| Everything inside my pockets
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| Your uncle steals
|
| And you ask why I don’t live here
|
| Honey, I can’t believe that you’re for real
|
| Well, there’s fistfights in the kitchen
|
| They’re enough to make me cry
|
| Little mailman comes in
|
| Even he’s got to take a side
|
| Even the butler
|
| He’s got something to prove
|
| Then you ask why I don’t live here
|
| Honey, how come you don’t move? |