Lyrics Forever - Joyner Lucas

Forever

But you will eventually
You will eventually, some day
One day
I know you don’t understand my words but you will eventually
And when you get older, I hope you don’t hold this shit against me
I hope you understand I love you more than life itself
And this is nothin' but your daddy’s thoughts when he was feelin' empty
And everything ain’t always what it seems like on the outside
I fought so many tears so that you would never see the outcry
I never wanted kids until I lived and went through hard times
And became a man that fell in love with someone that my heart finds
But you know how that shit go, young and reckless, different women part time
And I wasn’t ready for that life yet, I was in my dark prime
Me and your moms ain’t get along and she gave me a hard time
I really think that we just crossed paths at the wrong time
I wasn’t happy when she said she was pregnant
Probably the worst news of my life, that shit was so depressing
I told her she should get an abortion and I really meant it
I’m sorry that I said that shit, yo I was trippin'
I know you don’t understand my words but you will eventually
And when you get older, I hope you don’t hold this shit against me
I’m sorry, yo
And I never wanted a broken home to raise you from a distance
Yeah I’ll admit it, I was scared of that type of commitment
Even hopes of a miscarriage, anything bad that could happen
That’d get me out of that situation, I was livid
I felt like shit about my thoughts, that wasn’t me, I’m different
Plus I was dealing with some demons that I couldn’t live with
I told her she should get an abortion and I really meant it, damn
I know you don’t understand my words but you will eventually
And when you get older I hope you don’t hold this shit against me
Hope you don’t hate me, I was selfish, I hope you forgive me
I hope you forgive me (please forgive me)
And I still remember your baby shower like, it was yesterday
And to your mom it was special, me, just another day
I wish that you could see the pictures, all the fake phony smilin'
Had to pretend that I was happy, deep down I was cryin'
Ma asked if I was okay, I turned around and looked away
I was dryin' all my tears, look back to say «Yeah»
I was lyin', goddamn, how the hell I get here?
This is it, this supposed to be my life, this ain’t how I pictured it
I never felt so damn alone, but it was more than often
One of the worst days of my life, and I ain’t even lyin'
We argued when we came home, I blame myself for all this
I think that I was holding a grudge cause she ain’t get an abortion
I’m sorry (fuck) damn
And I know you can’t understand my words but you will eventually
And when you get older, I hope you don’t hold this shit against me
I can’t believe I tried to hurt you, I hope you forgive me
Please, please
And everything ain’t always what it seems like on the outside
I fight so many tears so that you would never see the outcry
I sacrificed my life so you could live it, peace
Want to give you things my father couldn’t give to, me
I think I was raised wrong and that’s just what it is to me
And if you ask him then his ass gon' probably disagree
But whatever, whatever…
And nothing’s ever made me cry as much as you, I swear
Your smile gives me motivation and some new ideas
My worst fear is always you not knowing who I am
Cause I been on the road dreamchasing for you out here
I was the first thing that you opened your eyes to
And the last one that you said goodnight to
I went home and cried to
And I bawled my eyes out and then watched you
Glad I got you, that’s a blatant fact
And every negative thing I said I swear I take it back
I know you don’t understand my words but you will eventually
And when you get older, I hope you don’t hold this shit against me
I hope you understand I love you more than I love myself
And this is nothin' but your daddy’s thoughts when he was feelin' empty
I was feelin' empty, I been feelin' empty
I put my emotions in this music when I’m feelin' empty
I hope you forgive me
Please, please
Yo wassup, this is Joyner
I’m unable to take your call right now
Leave me a brief message and I’ll get back to you, peace
Ayo nigga, this is like the twelfth time I’ve call you, dawg
I’m sick of getting this fucking voicemail, my nigga
I need my money today, nigga!
Not tomorrow, not next week, nigga, I want it now, bro!
Don’t have me pull up and, and stunt!
You know how the fuck I do, my nigga!
That’s the last thing you want, so get that paper right, bro
I’m not fucking around!