| Ladies and gents, well I take no offense
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| No, I’m not who you’re here to see
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| And it won’t be long till the headliner’s on
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| And then you’ll be done with me
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| So don’t rack your brain, no you’ve not heard my name
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| Or a single song of mine
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| And if you need to go potty, well it’s out in the lobby
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| But I’d go now while there’s still time
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| 'Cause I’m the opening act, don’t get much time
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| Maybe four tracks or five at best
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| So I play only songs that I hope make you long
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| To go out and buy the rest
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| And it is okay if I choose to be shameless
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| 'Cause tonight I’m not getting paid
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| So as soon as I’m able I’ll be out by my table
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| Telling you about my MySpace
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| Well, I wish I could say with the truth on my face
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| That the reason I’m here tonight
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| Is 'cause they like my songs and they just can’t go wrong
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| Without the opening I provide
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| But the truth is I’m cheap, and I don’t take much space
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| Because it’s just me and my guitar
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| So when I get to the solo, well I’m up here alone
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| So I’ll just have to whistle that part
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| Yeah, I’m the opening act, don’t get much time
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| Maybe four tracks or five at best
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| So I play only songs that I hope make you long
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| To go out and buy the rest
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| And it is okay if I choose to be shameless
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| Did I mention I’m not getting paid?
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| So as soon as I’m able I’ll be out by my table
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| And if you buy a CD, well you’re enabling me
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| To put bread on my plate, take my wife on a date
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| Well, I better stop now before you tune me out
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| But don’t forget about my MySpace |