| I went so numb on Christmas day
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| I couldn’t feel my hands or feet
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| I shouldn’t have come
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| She made me pay
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| For gleaming with Donald down her street
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| She put blame on him
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| And shame on me
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| She made it all seem so tawdry and cheap
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| «Oh, let’s be nice, Mama, open up your gifts
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| You know, happiness is the best facelift»
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| I mean, after all, she introduced us
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| Oh, but she regrets that now
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| Shacked up downtown
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| Making love without a license
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| Same old sacred cow
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| She said, «Did you come home to disgrace us?»
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| I said, «Why is this joy not allowed?
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| For God’s sake, I’m middle-aged, Mama
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| And time moves swift
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| And you know happiness is the best facelift»
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| Oh, love takes so much courage
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| Love takes so much shit
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| He said «You've seen too many movies, Joni»
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| She said «Snap out of it!»
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| Oh, the cold winds blew at our room with a view
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| All helpful and hopeful and candlelit
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| We kissed the angels and the moon eclipsed
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| You know, Happiness is the best facelift
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| We pushed the bed up to the window
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| To see the Christmas lights
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| On the east bank across the steaming river
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| Between the bridges lit up Paris-like
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| This river has run through both our lives
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| Between these banks of our continuing delights
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| Bless us, don’t let us lose the drift
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| You know, Happiness is the best facelift |