| What’s playing at the Roxy?
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| I’ll tell you what’s playing at the Roxy
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| A picture about a Minnesota man so in love
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| With a Mississippi girl that he sacrifices everything
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| And moves all the way to Biloxi
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| That’s what’s playing at the Roxy
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| What’s in the Daily News?
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| I’ll tell you what’s in the Daily News
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| A story about a guy who bought his wife
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| A small ruby with what otherwise
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| Would have been his union dues
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| That’s what’s in the Daily News
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| What’s happenin' all over?
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| I’ll tell you what’s happenin' all over
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| Guy sittin' home by a television set
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| Who once used to be somethin' of a rover
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| That’s what’s happenin' all over
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| Love is the thing that has licked 'em
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| And it looks like Nathan’s just another victim
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| Yes, sir, when you see a guy reach for stars in the sky
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| You can bet that he’s doing it for some doll
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| When you spot a John waiting out in the rain
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| Chances are he’s insane as only a John can be for a Jane
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| When you meet a gent payin' all kinds of rent
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| For a flat that could flatten the Taj Mahal
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| Call it sad, call it funny, but it’s better than even money
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| That the guy’s only doing it for some doll
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| When you see a Joe savin' half of his dough
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| You can bet they’ll be mink-in' it for some doll
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| When a bum buys wine like a bum can’t afford
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| It’s a cinch that the bum is under the thumb of some little broad
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| When you meet a mug lately out of the jug
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| And he’s still liftin' platinum fol-de-rol
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| Call it hell, call it heaven, it’s a probable twelve to seven
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| That the guy’s only doing it for some doll
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| When you see a sport and his cash has run short
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| Make a bet that he’s bankin' it with some doll
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| When a guy wears tails with the front gleamin' white
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| Who the hell do you think he’s ticklin' pink on Saturday night?
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| When a lazy slob takes a good steady job
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| And he smells from Vitalis and Barbasol
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| Call it dumb, call it clever
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| Ah, but you can give odds forever
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| That the guy’s only doing it for some doll
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| Some doll, some doll
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| The guy’s only doing it for some doll |