| Well it cost me thirty bucks to fix my budgie,
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| When the little blighter only cost me five.
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| The veterinary surgeon saw me coming,
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| But I had to keep my feathered friend alive;
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| He was shaking on his perch, the kids were crying,
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| The family gathered round his little cage.
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| I said I think it’s time we got a new one,
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| That’s when the family went into a rage.
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| Oh, the waiting room ponged like a rat house,
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| With heartworms and lungworms and lice.
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| And a Persian had her eye on the shoebox,
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| I suppose she thought our budgie might be nice.
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| Well the bird shit on the veterinary surgeon,
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| I heard him say the dirty little chick.
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| Guess he wondered why I didn’t use my brains
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| And hit him over the head with a brick.
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| Oh antibiotics for his colour,
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| Two drops a day on his beak.
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| Some powder on the nose for his feathers
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| And clean out his cage twice a week.
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| Well it cost me thirty bucks to fix my budgie
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| When the little blighter only cost me five
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| And the bludger wakes me early in the morning,
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| It’s got me puzzled how he survives.
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| One night I’ll feed him to the tom cat.
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| Instead of worrying about him when we go away.
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| No-one wants to feed a shitty budgie,
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| When everyone’s on holiday.
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| REPEAT CHORUS |