| Well, I once knew a man who was going insane
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| He let love chase him right up a tree
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| It took the police and a fire truck just to bring him back down
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| Oh, I hate it when that happens to me
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| It made the front page of the paper, the gossip tongues wagged
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| Why they even showed it all on TV
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| Now if he should live forever, he won’t live it down
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| Oh, I hate it when that happens to me
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| Dog bites man, man loses girl
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| Oh, what did he ever do wrong in this world?
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| Dog bites man, man loses girl
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| Oh, what have I every done wrong in this world?
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| There once was a big buzz all over town
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| About a movie where the killer goes free
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| Now, he’s got everyone’s sympathy
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| Oh, I hate it when that happens to me
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| Yes, I hate it when that happens to me |