| Pretty paper
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| Pretty ribbons of blue
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| Man oh man, I just love Christmas
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| It’s just so darn neat
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| I kinda wish every day was Christmas
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| Except Christmas Eve and the Fourth of July
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| We wouldn’t want to miss out on the fireworks, would we?
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| When I was a kid, we used to get the Christmas catalog from Montgomery Wards in
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| Chicago
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| Sometimes we’d get it as early as late August
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| It was the big book of wishes, hopes and desires
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| My three brothers and I were allotted twenty-five bucks a piece, including tax
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| So I’d make up a different Christmas list every night
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| From the first of September 'til the twenty-forth of December
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| Matter of fact, let me present you with my Christmas credentials
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| When I was three years old, at least that’s what my mother told me
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| I ate an entire ornament. |
| I ate a big red one, I thought it was an apple
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| They kinda freaked out and was gonna take me to the hospital
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| But they couldn’t stop me from laughing so they just left me alone
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| So I guess I still got that Christmas in me all the time, you know?
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| One year, I got a wooden roly-poly for Christmas
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| You know the things you knock down and they bounce right back up
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| They made 'em out of wood back then, that’s how old I am
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| Nowadays, they make 'em out of plastic
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| My mom says «they just don’t make 'em like that anymore». |
| and I says, «no ma they don’t»
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| Then there was the year I came home only eave from the army
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| From Germany to marry my high school sweetheart on the day after Christmas
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| My little brother billy, who was twelve at the time
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| Had just gotten his first job so he was able to afford to buy some Christmas
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| presents
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| For his brothers and his mom and dad out of his own pocket
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| Billy had a job selling subscriptions for the Chicago Tribune
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| He told me this guy named rocky would pick him up in a station wagon
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| Him and some other boys, and he’d take 'em out to some strange neighborhood
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| And drop 'em off and he gave them this whole spiel to give their potential
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| customers
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| Supposedly their little brother had won a free trip to our nation’s capital,
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| Washington, D. C
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| But he couldn’t go on the trip if his older brother wouldn’t accompany him
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| So if you would please buy a subscription to the Chicago Tribune then my little
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| brother will be happy
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| Wow, what a shyster! |
| Some people’ll do anything to get to the Whitehouse!
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| Then there was the year that my mom and dad gave me my first guitar
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| Ah man it was gorgeous, I still got the thing
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| It was a like aqua blue. |
| kinda dark aqua blue with a cream colored heart.
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| was a silvertone from montgomery wards. |
| the model was called kentucky blue and
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| man when I saw that sitting under the tree
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| Just couldn’t wait
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| First year so I didn’t know how to play it
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| I’d just stand in from of the mirror with a string around my neck with that
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| guitar and I’d try to look like Elvis
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| Then my brother dave taught me a couple of chords
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| Now I’m here in your living room singing and talking to you
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| It’s funny how things work out
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| So-a whyn’t you go find a stranger and extend your hand to 'em
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| If you see somebody looks like they ain’t doin' quite as well as you,
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| slip 'em a buck
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| 'specially if they don’t ask for spare change
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| Go buy your honey a cuckoo clock or a musical snow shaking water ball
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| That when you wind it up it plays
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| «I want you, I need you, I love ya with all my heart.»
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| 'cause after all, hell man, it’s Christmas
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| Away in a manger no crib for a bed
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| The little lord jesus lay down his sweet head
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| The stars in the sky look down where he lay
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| The little lord Jesus asleep on the hay
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| Merry Christmas everybody |