Lyrics Spent - John Louis

Spent

If only the drinks understood what I’ve been through
If only my attempts to blot you out didn’t hurt my health
If only I learned how to love what I died to
Then maybe I’d learn how to hate what I do to myself
‘Cause I remember trips we took
Like we just got home yesterday
I revisit our old pictures
Like the headstone on our grave
I remember gifts I gave you
On your birthday at the beach
The engraving on your watch
That marked our anniversary
When does the healing start?
How long do I have to feel this low?
Why don’t I protect my heart?
I can’t remember ever feeling so alone
Why doesn’t God show His face when I need Him to?
I wish I had the strength to ask Him where He went
‘Cause then maybe He’d welcome me home, like a father would
And maybe I wouldn’t be sitting here, oh, so spent
‘Cause I remember back in Sunday school
That He was in control
So I confessed Him with my mouth
But that was fourteen years ago
I remember nights when I would cry
Alone beneath the moon
Oh, if only I could find the strength
To ask Him, «Where were You?»
When does the healing start?
How long do I have to feel this low?
Why don’t I protect my heart?
I can’t remember ever feeling so alone
When does the healing start?
How long do I have to feel this low?
Why don’t I protect my heart?
I can’t remember ever feeling so alone
I can’t remember ever feeling so alone
If only I’d seen how you looked when I told you
That I wouldn’t leave you no matter how dark it got
Then maybe I’d have seen it coming, my lover
Maybe I’d have avoided becoming somebody I’m not