Lyrics I Was Raised Catholic, in Search of Noah's Ark - Joe Rogan

I Was Raised Catholic, in Search of Noah's Ark

Stitch by stitch, stitching it together.
Deadline looms, don’t you know the client’s always right?
Even though my fabric choice was perfect,
Gotta get them all done by tonight!
Pinkie Pie, that color’s too obtrusive,
Wait until you see it in the light.
I’m sewing them together!
Don’t you think my gown would be more me with some lollipops?
Well, I thin-
Balloons?
Well…
DO IT!
Hour by hour, one more change.
I’m sewing them together, take great pains!
Fluttershy, you’re putting me in a bind!
Rainbow Dash, what is on your mind?
Oh, my gosh!
There’s simply not much time!
Don’t forget, Applejack’s duds must SHINE!
Dressmaking’s easy, every customer’s call
Brings a whole new revision.
Have to pick up my pace, still hold to my vision!
That constellation is Canis Major, not Minor.
French Haute Couture, please?
Eeehh.
What if it rains?
Galoshes!
More balloons!
Oh, no.
That’s too many balloons.
More candy!
Oh, less candy.
Oh, wait!
I know!
Streamers!
Streamers?
Whose dress is this?
Streamers, it is…
What?
Aren’t you going to tell me to change something, too?
No. I just want my dress to be cool.
Do you not like the color?
The color’s fine, just make it look cooler.
Do you not like the shape?
The shape’s fine, just make the whole thing, you know, cooler!
It needs to be about 20% cooler.
All we ever want is indecision.
All we really like is what we know.
Gotta balance style with adherence.
Making sure we make a good appearance.
Even if you simply have to fudge it.
Make sure that it stays within our budget!
Gotta overcome intimidation,
Remember it’s all in the presentation!
Piece by piece, snip by snip,
Croup, dock, haunch,
Shoulders, hip.
Bolt by bolt, primmed and pressed,
Yard by yard, always stressed,
And that’s the art of the dress!