| I was born in Montreal
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| A winter’s slip that bloomed in fall
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| Due my father’s lot in life
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| I got his name and I killed his wife
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| As if her blood I’d broken through
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| Had never been enough for two…
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| So I was sent out early on
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| To cutting black ice on the pond
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| To lying flat and pulling free
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| Whatever might rise up to me
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| I held my tongue for seven years
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| Fluttered my hands, closed my ears—
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| As if deaf to every word
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| Refusing every song I heard
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| That might connect me to this ground
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| And hold me should I speak its sound;
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| So silence spoke for me instead
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| And hovered like the passing dead
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| Whose prayer is but a laugh unfurled
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| Above this lost edge of the world
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| When I was twelve my father fled
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| He left me all he was and had—
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| His hammer and a dying fire
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| An empty vein, and one desire:
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| To lead my pony from the mines
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| And ride him hard beyond the time
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| Of broken, long-forgotten souls
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| Who become their fathers in these holes
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| That spark and fume and smoke and seethe
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| And claim these hills but can’t claim me
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| I was wild at twenty-three
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| My burning mind turned to the sea
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| And a sour engine room
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| Of a war ship, hoping war came soon—
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| I spent my rage in tiny towns
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| Wherever we might run aground;
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| And every face that met my eye
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| Was calling on some wish to die
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| But if I stood and drank alone
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| Then that wish became my own
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| The years ran as if for their lives
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| I, the shameless beau of a governor’s wife—
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| Standing just outside of view
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| Holding hats and coats and shoes…
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| Then running guns for a lost decade
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| Posing as a doctor’s aide—
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| I pushed pins in maps to show
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| How to stop a plague or make it go;
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| And then they took me out in chains
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| When a secret shared had changed the game
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| But, all those days have fled somehow
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| And nothing occupies me now—
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| Except for this strange thought of you
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| Who sat before me back in school
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| And trailed a rope of braided hair
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| Across the back rail of your chair
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| And learned to sign your name in air
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| And read from lips -oh, I might’ve dared
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| To simply move my own so you
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| Could read please love me, and might have too |