| Just trying to explain the unexplainable
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| More than trying to attain the unattainable
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| Trying to make it sustainable
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| Collecting all the parts, see if they interchangeable
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| Killing me slow, but I’m glad it’s entertaining you
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| Everyday it amaze me
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| The same thinking that pay me the same thinking that plagues me
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| How can I think I’m crazy? |
| Sway me
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| Cause to profit off of shit that aches me is actually pretty wavy
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| I’m painting the perfect picture
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| Only perfect cause the imperfections are highlighted
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| To gross currency off of that kinda sickness
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| Changes the meaning of mind my business
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| Giving what was given to me
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| So the soldiers come over unsober
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| And call me Yoda instead of Joseph
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| I be like «why they come to me for advice?»
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| They should really come to me for a vice
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| I got 'em all
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| Got a counter full of liquor, pocket full of pills
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| The illusion of control, I can tell you how it feels
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| Accounts full of paper and the women I play with
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| All got criminal bodies, innocent faces
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| Come around and we have a ball, could have it all
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| Well, I ran out of Adderall, but that’s a matter of a call, check it
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| Odds is they start telling me they hardships
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| Regardless, they end up wanting hard dick, aww shit
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| You would think they been ordained
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| Got her legs in the air, she screaming the Lord’s name
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| I’m feeding her more game, more game, more game
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| I started fucking her mind, that’s when all them thoughts came
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| She keep saying if I want her I should fight for her
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| My plight for her says I don’t know if I’m right for her
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| Even so know there’s a fire I ignite for her
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| Staring at her ceiling, seeing me like I’m a nightcrawler
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| It’s like she love me, but she don’t
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| That’s when she lose me, that’s when she confuse me
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| It’s what I get appalled with, can’t call it
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| She think I should remove her hurt since I installed it
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| But I wish she knew I was returned 2 birds
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| Feel it hurt me more knowing I hurt you
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| Even though it exists I don’t ever bring it up
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| We don’t be doing nothing, but it’s everything to us
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| Presently she bring up the past and it’s filthy
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| You not talking to who I was or who I will be
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| But that’s my own assignment
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| You want to take all the feelings and the time spent
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| And give it realignment
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| Check the catalog, lateral God
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| I self-sabotage, I’d explain further, but I’d rather not
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| Salute, on me, everybody have a shot
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| I do it for the niggas they said wouldn’t have a shot
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| But some days are better than some days
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| Still yet here I stand on numb legs
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| Women don’t give a fuck that I have these scars
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| I’m fucking the same hoes that the athletes are
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| What a rollercoaster, we argued and we sexed
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| Face in her box, James Harden in her texts
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| Nigga from the Clippers every morning text her «good morning»
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| She be sleep, he just be talking to me, my nigga
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| None of this is a pain to see
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| I only care about her if she pertains to me
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| Shit I’m tending to emergencies with urgency
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| That urge in me is my daily fight in her purging me
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| Fuck hoes, I ain’t got time to be sprung now
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| Grandpa’s cancer just made it to his lungs now
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| In 2012, docs gave him few months; |
| wild
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| He’s alive somehow, outlived 2 sons, wow
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| So no the observation
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| Says he’ll die quicker with chemo and radiation
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| He ain’t strong enough to even go through operation
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| Know that death’s coming, he just in the house waiting
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| So you telling me there ain’t a way to fix the shit?
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| Or is grandpa too old for you to give a shit?
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| Let’s switch the shit, give you my predicament
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| Wonder how you would feel if I was telling yours live with it
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| And it’s traveling to his heart soon
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| Of course it all hit me like a harpoon
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| I was in shock and then it was all clearer
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| When he called me and asked me to be his pallbearer
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| I was floored
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| But then the next second was back
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| To being self-centered, self-absorbed
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| And it became about me, fought it off long enough
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| I could help carry your weight, but I ain’t strong enough
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| But why do I have to be?
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| This the shit I be naturally asking me, I’m such a catastrophe
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| See me breaking down with my father in back of me
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| So for me to attend, I’m trying to think of a strategy
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| But I’m happy for my dad
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| He was incarcerated, but his mama didn’t make it
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| So for him to get that chance again with you
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| Means the world, he could be there til it end for you and me
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| I bleed out through this pen for you
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| Can’t carry this around, gotta vent, it’s due
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| Cause now, grandpa’ll be closer to his wife
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| Have cards when I come, we playing poker in the sky |