| Well there once was a man called Broadway Jim
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| He had the idea I was in love with him
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| He came real close looked into my eyes
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| Said I never met a man that I couldn’t despise
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| Then he cut off my tail with a carving knife
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| Give me ten long years of trouble and strife
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| Well the nice young men from the rodeo
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| Came down to Virginia just to say hello
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| They brought a lot of rifles and they brought a lot of guns
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| Lord they were tryna have some good clean fun
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| Next thing you know you’re runnin' for your life
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| For ten long years of trouble and strife
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| Well I once had a man he was tall and lean
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| He treated me like a superstar queen
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| We had a little cat got stuck in a tree
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| So we played him a record by Peggy Lee
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| He said who is that woman? |
| Gotta make her my wife
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| Give her ten long years of trouble and strife
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| There once was a girl called Sally G
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| And she built herself a nest in a redwood tree
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| Said goodbye to her mother said goodbye to her boss
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| Sold her possessions at a terrible loss
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| Then they tried to cut it down with a switchblade knife
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| Took 'em ten long years of trouble and strife
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| I think I’m gonna move down to New Orleans
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| Buy myself a pair of designer jeans
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| Gonna see what’s cookin' gonna make the rounds
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| By the time I’m finished weigh a thousand pounds
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| It’s a doggone shame it’s the story of my life
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| Ten long years of trouble and strife |