| Johnny’s mom was worried
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| She caught him in the bathroom
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| With a copy of GQ
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| The men’s fall fashion issue
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| So she called her pastor
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| The respected Reverend Bean
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| Who after a minute of silence
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| Said, «I'll pray for thee»
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| Johnny’s dad was absent
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| At another men’s convention
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| For Christian men who need to learn
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| To be better dads
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| Johnny’s mom kept quiet
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| About her son’s sin
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| Afraid that Dad would beat
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| The holy shit out of him
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| Under the disco ball
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| Another child will fall
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| Under the spell of leather
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| And the big kick drum
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| They have a scheme
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| They have a plan
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| To take the children of our land
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| Turn them into stylists
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| And women who play golf |