| Young gladys was a silky maiden
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| At thirteen, she was going strong, yeah.
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| Oh, gladys.
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| Nicely filled out, fully laden,
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| But down below there was something wrong, yeah.
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| Oh, gladys.
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| Nobody told her about the secrets
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| That ladies have to hide
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| Mom had no words to describe the things
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| That happened inside.
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| Need someone to help me,
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| I feel that theres a curse on me, oh.
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| Went down into the local disco,
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| For what used to be the one night, yeah,
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| Oh gladys.
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| Felt a searching hand to frisk her,
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| Along the legs of the water line, yeah,
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| Oh gladys.
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| Now gladys knew she was in no condition
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| In no mood to play
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| I cracked a knee in her soft spot, nothing
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| Had got in her way.
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| I want no one to touch me,
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| I feel theres a curse on me, oh.
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| Directed down to the local drugstore
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| Got fixed up, now shes doing fine, yeah
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| Oh gladys
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| Equipped with various kinds of apparatus
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| You know the feminine hygiene kind, yeah
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| Oh gladys
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| Must have been a man to do these things
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| Who won her fall from grace
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| That day he programmed me You should have seen the smile on his face
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| He said ``youll need someone to help you
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| When you feel like cursing me, oh. |