| Ramblin', scramblin'
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| Tryin' to get my mind untangled
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| Ain’t never seen nothin' in the whole wide world
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| That give more trouble than to try 'n' love a girl
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| Like most everybody I’ve had bad luck, you know I’ve been down and out and
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| didn’t have a buck
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| I’ve been hired and fired and loved and mistrusted and three or four women left
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| me busted
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| Took my money… Took my lovin'… Took my toothpaste too
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| First went ramblin' a few years ago, some fool woman she tried to tell me no
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| I had an ol' leather bag it wasn’t even mine, I had a heart full of sorrow and
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| a tangled up mind
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| She done it… She kept squezzing toothpaste in my ear… She said I couldn’t
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| leave
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| Took 3 or 4 steps backwards and gave her a dropkick right in the crotch
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| Her eyes lit up and said oh your leaving… yeah
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| Yeah, I headed for New Orleans Louisiana and all night drinkin' and jazz piano
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| That music in the air will set your toes a tappin' but those hustlin' women
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| sent me a packin'
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| Lickity split… I split
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| Met a gal down there said she came from way out west, said she could roll a |
| cigarette with just one hand
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| She proved it… she rolled me with the other
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| Yeah, I grabbed my bag I had my hat in my hand, took the advice to go west
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| young man
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| I figured now I’d finally learned my lesson, me and women weren’t messin'
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| Met another un… Wasn’t too good lookin'… But juggs whew
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| I’m not saying she’s a big chick or anything but one time I did ask her what
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| size bra she wore
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| She said 6 7/8. |
| I said my god what did you measure it with… She said Stetson
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| whew
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| Yeah well, I got to Californ-i-a, I figured it was time I headed her my way
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| She was talking about us and having a home and I was talking about us and
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| livin' in Uncle Henry’s basement
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| She said what… said she didn’t understand
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| I proceeded to take 3 or 4 steps backwards and give her a dropkick right in the
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| crotch
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| I said honey I believe in treating women gentle but first you’ve got to get
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| their attention
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| Yeah, the same things have happened over again, every time I meet a woman she
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| tries to pin me in
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| Found the only way to handle a woman is to keep your bags packed, keep movin', |
| steppin' lightly
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| Eyes forward, proud, determined, masculine
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| Probably get horny
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| Can’t live with 'em and you can’t live without em
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| That’s why I write so many of these weird songs I guess |