| I’m feeling numb, thinking of changing my name to Crystal Meth
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| Playin' this game, holding my mic like a pistol: aiming at death
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| But I love nobody, alone in this world that’s how I came in it
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| But shit could flash and reverse the same in a minute
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| I don’t even love life no more, my niggas, I just live it
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| And I don’t love love, all the hurting is infinite
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| I cry myself to sleep sometimes, wept a gallon of tears
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| From malice, divorce meets to lost peers
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| Drowning in a haze of smoke and glasses that never ran empty
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| Bottles of Sojo, cheap vodka and twenty; |
| twenty
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| Spending my pennies for thoughts on quarts of henneything
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| Got none pain like the movie have plenty
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| Like a shotgun, double barrel fully loaded ready to blow
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| I wanna turn around and aim at myself
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| Been feeling my health
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| I hardly even eat no more
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| My lunch is munchies from the corner store: tropical fantasy
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| Me and my family, me and my niggas used to be tight
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| And now we see each other on the block with no pound
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| Keep it moving you gotta move on. |
| I know I’m doing it right
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| I’m still livin' hustling life, and still here
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| For all my niggas that smoke a pack a day
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| For all my niggas hold the bottle drink the pain away
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| What type of life is this?
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| For all my niggas that getn' the cash
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| And all my niggas that chill on the av
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| Lets keep livin'
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| For all my niggas drink the pain away
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| For all my niggas smoke a pack of Newports a day
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| What type of life is this?
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| For all my niggas that getn' the cash
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| And all my niggas that chill on the av
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| Lets keep livin'
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| Grew up as a, child of an alcoholic, sister to schizophrenic
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| Already inherited one and they both a genetic
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| When sun falls I gets no sleep
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| Nights are filled with party and bullshit
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| Bacardi and full clip
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| Just to deal with it
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| I got a full heart, but don’t feel with it no more
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| I got fury of a woman scorned
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| Just live my life like the x-files and trust nobody
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| Forgetting everyone, and now I’m just forgetting the money
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| Funny how shit can change and switch up fragile to whip on you
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| Spent too much of my young life just trying to stitch shit up
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| I’m living day by day now
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| Every step is play by play hand to mouth
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| I’m just trying to make the moments count
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| Eyes weak stressing my soul
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| Chest roll from a heavy smoking addict since nine: a nicotine addict
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| Devoted at it but still, I need some kinda relief
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| I quit the trees at least
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| I’m learning niggas but I’m slow at it
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| Always give my motherfuckers the benefit of the doubt
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| But it seems that everybody is just out for self
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| I used to love her, but now I gotta make her work for my wealth
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| I gotta eat
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| From rappin' to nicotine
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| Niggas will clap and niggas will fiend
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| From some shit I never seen to everything I been through
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| It’s like, loosing the love of your life twice in the same night
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| Being deaf for years, gained your hearing and loosing your sight
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| Tryin to shine, but just getting eclipse
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| I’m just tryin to find the perfect words to fall from my lips
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| Thinking too hard about what shit has fallen, mainly the chips
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| Hoping by the next time installment that I’m not attempting to slit wrists
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| work my way up from the bottom to the
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| Top of the ladder, claim what’s rightfully mine
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| Working against time, it’s been too long
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| And I haven’t had a chance to leave y’all yet: I apologize
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| Getting older and wiser, seen the picture painted
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| My destiny faded for this, and not for easy times
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| I put my heart in these rhymes always
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| Love it or, leave it or ready to die? |
| Yeah I’m ready |