| Nobody else is loved so well by Isobel, my Isobel
 | 
| Oh nobody else is loved so well by Isobel but me.
 | 
| She’s my rose, my asphodel, my demoiselle, my jezebel,
 | 
| But nobody else is loved so well by Isobel but me.
 | 
| I marvel at musicians, maestros, virtuosos, they’re sensitive and deft beyond
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| belief.
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| The only tune that I know well is Ring-a-Rosoes
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| and I can only whistle it through me teeth but good grief.
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| Nobody else is loved so well by Isobel, my Isobel
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| Oh nobody else is loved so well by Isobel but me.
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| I couldn’t produce a tuneful decibel
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| not even if I strained like hell
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| but nobody else is loved so well by Isobel but me.
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| I admire a man who knows about mathematics
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| who calculates and ciphers and computes.
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| I used to think that logarithms were things that scuttled about in attics
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| And surds were little flowers with square roots.
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| What boots it?
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| Nobody else is loved so well by Isobel, my Isobel
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| Oh nobody else is loved so well by Isobel but me.
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| At geometry I never excel, my triangles are parallel,
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| But nobody else is loved so well by Isobel but me.
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| Some can swim for miles and dive from dizzy heights,
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| From deep and stormy seas they never shrink.
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| I am not amphibious or water tight.
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| My function in the water is to sink
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| But just think.
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| Nobody else is loved so well by Isobel, my Isobel
 | 
| Oh nobody else is loved so well by Isobel but me.
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| Upon the sea the slightest swell makes me expel a hell of a yell,
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| But nobody else is loved so well by Isobel but me.
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| Some men are sophisticated, gay and hearty.
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| Polite and poised and witty. | 
| They’re such fun.
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| I am never welcome to a cocktail party.
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| I drink too much or leave my flies undone,
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| But thumbs up.
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| Nobody else is loved so well by Isobel, my Isobel
 | 
| Oh nobody else is loved so well by Isobel but me.
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| I can’t hold my whiskey well, and I’ve not got many jokes to tell
 | 
| But nobody else is loved so well by ever loving Isobel,
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| My one and only Isobel
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| My little Iso-Isobel
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| Oh other women I repel
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| 'Cos I can’t spell and I smell as well
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| But nobody else is loved so well by Isobel but me. |