| You won’t believe what I read in the paper this morning
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| But it’s true, there’s no smoke without fire, their reporting never fails
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| I just can’t wait till it drops through the box in the morning
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| It’s my treat for the day, with the wife, she’s still yawning
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| As we read everyday, it’s the truth, no distorting, never tales
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| Stuck in Daily Mail Land
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| Stuck in Daily Mail Land
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| But you don’t understand
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| Some people knock it, I know, but for me it’s the bible
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| I believe every word guarantees my survival, I’m a fan
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| I just don’t care what they say, just be sure I don’t listen
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| To the lies that they say, that the paper’s on a mission
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| Cause the wife and me agree to ignore all the negatives we can
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| Stuck in Daily Mail Land
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| Stuck in Daily Mail Land
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| But you don’t understand
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| Stuck in Daily Mail Land
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| But you don’t understand
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| I never read all the rest, it’s a test of my loyalty
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| Don’t need any more, I get bored with variety I’m sure
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| You know I’ve read every day, come what may, since my puberty
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| My Ma and my Pa used to swear it’s validity
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| How can you suggest, or molest, it’s sincerity is pure
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| Stuck in Daily Mail Land
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| Stuck in Daily Mail Land
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| But you don’t understand
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| Stuck in Daily Mail Land
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| But you don’t understand |