| Where the fuck are my homies all at?
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| The Bar None Dude Ranch, that’s where it’s at
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| Get away from my motherfucking job
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| Accounting is shit, yeah, it’s time to move on
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| I love pussy and I can’t get enough
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| Moving out West where there’s so much to fuck
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| Ride a horse, fuck a cactus all night
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| Find the devil in the desert, and that’s all right
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| My kid wants to skateboard but he can’t in the sand
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| I told that piece of shit, he’s gotta be a man
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| A beast named Cassie, a motherfucking dog
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| Hire four hot teens and watch 'em all fuck
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| The spurs in my boots go clickety-clack-clack
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| Feeling kind of horny and I wanna smoke crack
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| I’m Ben Ernst, I got a real big cock
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| Fuckin' king of the ranch
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| I’m gonna stay on top
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| Hey, Hey Dude
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| Hey, Hey Dude
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| Put your lasso in the air
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| Hey, Hey Dude
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| Hey, Hey Dude
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| Get on a horse, hear?
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| Hey, Hey Dude
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| No fuckin' water in the desert
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| Hey, Hey Dude
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| Cowboys ride, cowboys die |