| Five men in the car down at the local bar, I been drinkin' with my friends
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| Seein' double and you knew it’d be trouble: I was drivin' home drunk again
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| I sped right by a patrol car and I prayed he’d let me pass
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| Seen him in the mirror 'fore I got far, nd I seen
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| Hello Five O
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| How you doin', sir?
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| How fast was I goin'?
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| Sorry I ain’t sure
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| But here’s my license
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| And my insurance card
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| Oh Five O, I’m just drivin' home
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| I ain’t comin' back from the bar
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| He looked down at my license and then he looked me in the eye
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| By the smell of booze, Lord I knew he knew I was caught up in a lie
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| Well he walked back to his patrol car and I thought I’d make a run
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| But he’s right there standin' before I could start
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| He said, «Step out that vehicle son»
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| Hello Five O
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| You wanna breathalyze me?
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| Well need to take a deep breath
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| And blow a damn machine
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| Well here goes nothin'
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| What’s the meter say?
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| No Five O, it just can’t be so
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| No way I blew a .28
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| He reached down for his handcuffs
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| Then he looked at me with a grin
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| Said «Son, don’t even think of gettin' tough
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| «I'm gonna haul you in»
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| Fuck you, Five O
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| The act’s over now
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| I’ll say what I want to
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| I’m screwed anyhow
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| I’m gonna lose my license
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| And my right to drive
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| So fuck you, Five O,
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| For this here DUI |