| Common cold
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| Common cold
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| Christmastime with the common cold
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| Oh I won’t go back
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| And I’m never getting over this common cold
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| They’re much the same
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| Heading home on a plane
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| Lyin' on the border to avoid paying claims
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| 'Cause our bags are full of presents and it’s Christmas all the same
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| We just got home on a plane
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| And I’m gonna kiss you nice, believe me Between your woven hands
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| This cold is a nice excuse
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| When your friends call to talk to you
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| You can’t go out, you say you’re getting old
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| Another thing I like about the common cold
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| Nearly OD
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| And you wrap it up in newsprint with a bow quite naturally
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| I won’t even try to peek
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| And I’m gonna kiss you nice, believe me Between your woven hands
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| This cold is a nice excuse
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| When your friends call to talk to you
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| You can’t go out, you say you’re getting old
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| Another thing I like about the common cold
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| Common cold, common cold
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| They’ve got a miracle cure or that’s what you’ve been told
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| Well let’s not rush to remedy
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| Come get warm in bed with me We’ll pack dry heat
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| And I’m gonna kiss you nice, believe me Between your swollen hand
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| This cold is a nice excuse
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| When your friends call to talk to you
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| You can’t go out, you say you’re getting old
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| Another thing I like about the common cold |