| I took her off the showroom floor no money down
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| Near the Chrysler building in the heart of Midtown
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| 200 horse-power under the hood
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| Junk in the trunk very far from damaged goods
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| Designer frames with windshields that stay tinted
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| The most beautiful thing someone invented
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| Her wrangler had a sticker on the bumper
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| A sign in case tow trucks tried to dump her
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| Rear view mirror that of Serena William
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| Staring was a crime then the look, kill 'em
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| Brushless showers and the Brazilian wax
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| Cash in the glove compartment free from tax
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| Low mileage on the odometer
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| Graduate with more degrees than a thermometer
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| Spark plugs for great conversation
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| She would focus on the finish line and destination
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| Steering in the right direction
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| Made sure I wore seat belts had air bags for protection
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| In her tank she loved to stash my tool
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| I kept her full, super-unleaded fuel
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| She had a room full of skirts and rims
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| The old ones used to swing off ropes that often hung from limbs
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| A temp at the Ford modeling agency
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| Suburban area where the Caucasians be
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| Her great-grandfather was a Cherokee Indian
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| Explorer and navigator traveling then begin
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| Sharpening his arrows on Plymouth Rock
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| Commander-in-chief who raise cattle on the selling of livestock
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| King of the frontier, rider of thoroughbreds
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| He was just as sharp as a needle without thread
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| Legend in truth but known to run the herd
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| His sons were oldsmobiles who drank thunderbird
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| Land cruisers sitting on fertile soil
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| With equipment that ran off expensive oil
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| Folks bragging said the horse pulled a Volkswagen
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| They love mustang sally and lollygagging
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| Fished in Lake Tahoe cooked the barracudas
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| Hunted impalas with the six-shooters
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| From a long range with the dog Rover
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| It was something else to see 'em knock them over
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| Some got caught in the crossfire
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| Bunch of rabbits indicating these dudes should retire
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| One was going bald rocking a sunroof
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| A gas guzzler in his grill was one tooth
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| A strong accent, and a beard like Lincoln
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| Who hated the golf course, but he loved drinking
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| Avenger, used to pick up chicks
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| Had magnums that were ram tough but thick
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| He wore blazers where he used to hide the Ruger
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| For encounters with the jaguars and cougars
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| A veteran who could salute and sing the anthem
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| In accord with the plan he was the phantom
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| He had a fat lady they called hummer
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| And umm, she needed body work the whole summer
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| She had a few friends who used to stay in a pound
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| Abandoned the parking lots, and junk yard bound
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| Regulars in rest areas and truck stops
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| Cassette players, known to make the tape pop
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| Gold diggers who on the cream like Wells Fargo
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| In Vegas, they circle around the Monte Carlo
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| You know the snakes with the fangs and vipers
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| Bloodsuckers who all used to piss from diapers
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| Met the Cavaliers at the Outback steakhouse
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| Chicken cutlets supreme just for takeout
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| One of them was forced to live in Astoria
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| Cause at the auction, they had crowned victoria
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| Since then her friends charged her battery
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| Had her running off with the sweets of flattery
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| She kept a loud muffler, couldn’t trust her
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| Police used to always pull over this duster
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| A pothead who some called a firebird
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| A foul mouth, who could have used wiser words
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| Her man used to hustle and ran a crack corner
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| So insecure he kept LOJACK on her
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| Creeping with his visors low, high-beaming
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| Temper would accelerate, private eye scheming
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| He would check her consoles for rubbers
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| She would pass the inspection with flying colors
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| She would turn left if he said right
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| On her cycle, he would often run red lights
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| His voiced echoed as she dodged the convo
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| Her previous owner, all he did was bone her
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| Some drove her crazy, she was just a loner
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| He had her leaking transmission fluids
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| Said it was an accident, didn’t mean to do it
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| No insurance with her grill decayed
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| She sobbed uncontrollably, still stayed
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| Another total eclipse of the heart
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| Like the freezing weather that never gave her a start
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| Plus he had a sidekick in his garage
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| And if he needed a boost, she would give him a charge
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| He was sentenced for running an escort service
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| Escaped from prison but made a few nervous
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| His baby mother had wifed a BMW
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| Number one on the list, so he brought trouble to
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| She done everything to regain her liberty
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| Tried to be outty, but went into delivery
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| Moved to Aspen, survived a avalanche
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| A different element, inside a fatter ranch
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| Far away, when she changed the pattern
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| The distance was like from Mercury to Saturn |