| Coming to feed on the shit from your bodies
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| Your turds have more power than mere human feces
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| Let’s use its great power to recover the pieces
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| Hey! |
| Hey, jackass! |
| Yeah, you!
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| You got to love me so good, baby!
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| Yeah, yeah you can depend on me
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| Depending on if my water’s on
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| If my pipe’s unglogged
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| Ahhh if you’re water-logged
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| Baby, I am the hole
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| I am your toilet bowl
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| I’ll suck your soul, baby
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| Just pay… just pay my shitty toll!
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| Ahhhh…
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| Coated in shit, it gives all you desire
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| Mystical doorway, swirling in mire
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| We’ll use the plunger if blockage won’t budge
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| It’s a door through the Plane of Fudge
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| So many times I have found you
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| Still I always piss on the ground
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| Now I know that I can use you
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| I’m gonna stop fuckin' around
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| If you need shit, baby, I got shit
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| On that, you can depend
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| I’ll pump your stump, you fucking hump
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| My crappy, crap-caked friend
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| The Portal Potty, a gift from the gods
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| Let us pay it tribute and bury our wads
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| I think we know what it’s all about
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| Jiggle the handle, watch something jump out
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| I am a woman and I have my needs
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| You can never really know just when I’ll start to bleed
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| You need my egg, I need your seed
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| But pray at the altar
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| The toilet must feed!
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| Yeah, I’ll bring ya some suckers for a killing spree
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| Just keep that fucking tampon away from me, baby
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| Take in this world, it’s so beautiful
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| Filthy humans, you’re all so full of it
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| That which you can’t stand, you can’t understand
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| Speak the mystic words
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| And bring forth a turd
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| You turn around into it
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| And turn over to me
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| Cross the river, leave the abyss
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| Give the seat of the toilet a kiss
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| Each virgin sacrifice speaks these magic words
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| Well, Jiggle the handle, and call forth a turd
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| Yeah! |
| Here it comes, baby
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| I’m dropping my load
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| I ain’t just on it, I am the commode!
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| Ahhh!
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| The power of the toilet must never be abused
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| He must be plunged, he must be sponged, or carnage could ensue
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| If a dead sheep was to clog him, who knows what could arrive
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| Maybe it’ll bring the Master, wouldn’t that be a surprise? |