| I entered the room and the canned laughter
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| Ethel was angled across some dude’s knee
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| I offered to clothe her to feed and to bath her
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| If she’d just give me a little exclusivity
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| Depth Charge Ethel is something special
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| Yeah Depth Charge Ethel is special to me
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| Ethel is a woman that a river runs through
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| She is famous throughout the land
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| People come and bathe in her, yeah, you know, I do
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| But lately its been getting right out of hand
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| Yeah Depth Charge Ethel is something special
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| Yeah Depth Charge Ethel is something special to me
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| To kiss Ethel is like drinking the stars
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| To not kiss her can make you come unglued
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| So if you want a piece of her you better get in there fast
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| Right now there is a ticket box and a queue
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| Depth Charge Ethel is something special
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| Depth Charge Ethel is something special to me
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| Depth Charge Ethel thinks we should all just take a chance
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| We should all love one another, it could be special
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| I’m in the back of a taxicab with ants in my pants
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| (I can’t sit still) I know there gonna send me
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| Depth Charge Ethel is something special
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| She’s something special she’s heavy metal |