| Well it was on this Monday morning
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| And the day be calm and fine
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| To the Harbour Grace excursion
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| With the boys to have a time
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| And just before the sailor
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| Took the gangway from the pier
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| I saw some fella haul me wife
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| Aboard as a volunteer
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| Oh me, oh my, I heard me old wife cry
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| Oh me, oh my, I think I’m gonna die!
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| Oh me, oh my, I heard me old wife say
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| «I wish I’d never taken this excursion around the bay»
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| We had full three hundred souls aboard, oh what a splendid sight!
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| Dressed all in regimental to make our spirits bright
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| And meself being in the double, when a funny things they’d say
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| They choke themselves from laughing when they’d see us in the bay
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| Me wife she got no better, she turned a sickly green
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| I fed her cake and candy, fat pork and kerosene
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| Castor Oil and sugar of candy, I rubbed pure oil on her face
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| And I said she’ll be a dandy when we reaches Harbour Grace!
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| My wife she got no better, my wife me darling dear
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| The screeches from her gob you could hear in Carbonear
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| I tried every place in Harbour Grace
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| Tried every store and shop
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| To get her something for a cure or take her to the hop
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| She died below the brandies as we were coming back
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| We buried her in the ocean, wrapped up in a Union Jack
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| So now I am a single man, in search of a pretty face
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| And the woman that says she’ll have me, I’m off for Harbour Grace! |