| Once upon a time there was an engineer
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| Drove a locomotive both far and near
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| Accompanied by a monkey that would sit on a stool
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| Watching everything the engineer would do
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| One day the engineer wanted a bite to eat
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| He left the monkey sitting on the driver’s seat
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| The monkey pulled the throttle, the locomotive jumped the gun
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| And did 80 miles an hour down the mainline run
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| Big locomotive right on time, big locomotive coming down the line
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| Big locomotive No. 99, left the engineer with a worried mind
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| The engineer called up the dispatcher on the phone
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| To tell him all about his locomotive was gone
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| Dispatcher got on the wire, switch operator to the right
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| Cause the monkey’s got the main line sewed up tight
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| The switch operator got the message on time
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| Said there’s a Northbound livin' on the same main line
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| Open up the switch I’m gonna let him through the hole
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| Cause the monkey’s got the locomotive under control
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| Big locomotive right on time, big locomotive coming down the line
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| Big locomotive No. 99, left the engineer with a worried mind |