| I got to Kansas City on a Frid’y
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| By Sattidy I larned a thing or two
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| For up to then I didn’t have an idy
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| Of whut the modren world was comin' to!
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| I counted twenty gas buggies goin' by theirsel’s
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| Almost ev’ry time I tuk a walk.
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| 'Nen I put my ear to a Bell Telephone and a strange womern started in to talk!
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| (Whut next! Yeak whut!)
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| Whut next?
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| Ev’rythin’s up to date in Kansas City
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| They’ve gone about as fur as they c’n go!
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| They went and built a skyscrper seven stories high,
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| About as high as a buildin' orta grow.
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| Ev’rythin’s like a dream in Kansas City,
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| It’s better than a magic lantern show!
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| Y' c’n turn the radiator on whenever you want some heat.
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| With ev’ry kind o' comfort ev’ry house is all complete.
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| You c’n walk to privies in the rain and never wet your feet!
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| They’ve gone about as fur as they can go,
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| (Yes sir!)
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| They’ve gone about as fur as they can go!
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| Ev’rythin’s up to date in Kansas City
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| They’ve gone about as fur as they can go!
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| They got a big theayter they call a burlesque.
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| Fer fifty cents you can see a dandy show.
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| One of the gals was fat and pink and pretty,
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| As round above as she was round below.
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| I could swear that she was padded from her shoulder to her heel,
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| But then she started dancin' and her dancin' made me feel
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| That ev’ry single thing she had was absolutely real
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| She went about as fur as she could go,
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| (Yes sir!)
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| She went about as fur as she could go! |