| Uncle Toad sittin' by the old south gate
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| Waitin' them boys they bin stayin' out late
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| Uncle Toad thinks they’re way out of line
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| Maybe they think he is past his prime
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| Uncle Toad said better straighten up right
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| When Uncle Toad spoke it was not a pretty sight
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| Uncle Toad lived in the wood out back
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| Lived in the shade of a utility shack
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| He looked in at the big brick housr
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| At the girls as quiet as a mouse
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| Uncle Toad said you had best get it right
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| When Uncle Toad spoke it was not a pretty sight
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| Uncle Toad tucked in the compost pile
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| Out by the back door look at him smile
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| He said kid stop drinkin' that brew
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| Plan while ya can or the joke’s on you
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| Uncle Toad said better straighten up right
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| When Uncle Toad spoke it was not a pretty sight
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| Uncle Toad sittin' by the swimmin' pool
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| Sits in the sun when the weather turns cool
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| Sits in the sun when the girls walk by
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| Maybe they think he’s a little bit sly
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| Uncle Toad said you had best get it right
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| When Uncle Toad spoke it was not a pretty sight
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| Uncle Toad sittin' by the cool mill race
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| All day long with a grin on his face
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| He said boys you had better not try
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| Kissin' 'em girls cause I won’t stand by
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| Uncle Toad sittin' by the wrought iron fence
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| Lookin' at the moon like it don’t make sense
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| We say Toad here’s lookin' at you
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| Hopin' you get your wish too
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| Sway to the left, sway to the right
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| When Uncle Toad spoke it was not a pretty sight |