| NICK
|
| What the hell are musicals?
|
| NOSTRADAMUS
|
| It appears to be a play where the dialogue stops, and the plot is conveyed
|
| through song!
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| NICK
|
| Through song?
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| NOSTRADAMUS
|
| Yes!
|
| NICK
|
| Wait wait — so an actor is saying his lines and then, out of nowhere,
|
| he just starts… singing?
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| NOSTRADAMUS
|
| Yes!
|
| NICK
|
| Well that is the…
|
| (sung)
|
| Stupidest thing that I have ever heard
|
| You’re doing a play, got something to say
|
| So you sing it? |
| It’s absurd!
|
| Who on earth is going to sit there
|
| While an actor breaks into song?
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| What possible thought could the audience think
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| Other than, «this is horribly wrong?»
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| NOSTRADAMUS
|
| Remarkably, they won’t think that.
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| NICK
|
| Seriously? |
| Why not?
|
| NOSTRADAMUS
|
| Because…
|
| (sung)
|
| It’s
|
| Musical
|
| A musical
|
| And nothing’s as amazing as
|
| A musical
|
| With song and dance, and sweet romance
|
| And happy endings happening by happenstance
|
| Bright lights, stage fights
|
| And a dazzling You wanna be great? |
| Then you gotta create
|
| A musical
|
| NICK
|
| I don’t know, I find it hard to believe people would actually pay to see
|
| something like this
|
| NOSTRADAMUS
|
| Let’s just say it’s a Saturday night, and you want to go out on the town
|
| Got a lady to flatter who might «give it up"if you don’t let her down
|
| You could go see a tragedy, but that wouldn’t be very fun
|
| Or a play from Greek mythology — see a Mother have sex with her son!
|
| NICK
|
| Eeuwwrrgh!
|
| NOSTRADAMUS
|
| You could go see a drama, with all of that trauma and pain
|
| Or go see something more relaxing and less taxing on the brain
|
| Go
|
| See
|
| Musical
|
| A musical
|
| A poppy piece releasing all
|
| Your blue-sicals
|
| Where crooners croon (Ahhhh) a catchy tune
|
| And limber little ladies thrill ya 'til ya swoon
|
| Oohs, aahs, big applause
|
| And a standing ovation
|
| NOSTRADAMUS & The future is bright if you could just write
|
| A musical
|
| NOSTRADAMUS
|
| Some make you happy
|
| Some make you sad
|
| Some are quite big
|
| Some quite small
|
| Some are too long
|
| Some are just plays with song (Ahhh)
|
| Some musicals have
|
| No talking at all
|
| NICK
|
| No talking at all?
|
| NOSTRADAMUS (sung)
|
| That’s right, there’s no talking
|
| All of the dialogue is sung
|
| In a very dramatic fashion
|
| NICK
|
| Umm, really?
|
| NOSTRADAMUS (sung)
|
| Yes, really
|
| NICK
|
| There’s no talk-
|
| NOSTRADAMUS (sung, interrupting NICK)
|
| There’s no talking
|
| And they often stay on one note for a very long time
|
| So that when they change to a different note
|
| You notice
|
| And it’s supposed to create a dramatic effect
|
| But mostly you just sit there asking yourself,
|
| «Why aren’t they talking?»
|
| NICK
|
| Sounds miserable
|
| NOSTRADAMUS (sung)
|
| I believe it’s pronounced
|
| 'Misérables'
|
| NICK
|
| And people actually like this?
|
| NOSTRADAMUS
|
| No — they LOVE it! |
| And what’s not to love!
|
| (sung)
|
| It’s such a delight
|
| There’s nothing quite like
|
| A musical
|
| (spoken)
|
| Oo! |
| Another vision! |
| I haven’t even told you the best part yet!
|
| (sung)
|
| Feel that fascinating rhythm moving to your feet
|
| NICK
|
| Uh, what is that?
|
| NOSTRADAMUS
|
| Feel your ass gyrating to that titillating beat
|
| NICK
|
| Woah — are you okay?
|
| NOSTRADAMUS
|
| You slap your lap
|
| Then finger-snap
|
| That’s when you know
|
| It’s time to TAP!
|
| Ooohhhhh!
|
| NICK
|
| What the hell are you doing now?
|
| NOSTRADAMUS
|
| It’s called a dance break! |
| Apparently this happens in musicals as well!
|
| People on stage just burst into spontaneous dance!
|
| NICK
|
| Why? |
| Does it advance the plot?
|
| NOSTRADAMUS
|
| No!
|
| NICK
|
| Advance character?
|
| NOSTRADAMUS
|
| Not necessarily
|
| NICK
|
| Then why do it?
|
| NOSTRADAMUS
|
| Because — it’s entertaining!
|
| Five! |
| Six! |
| Seven! |
| Eight!
|
| (dance break)
|
| NOSTRADAMUS
|
| Another vision!
|
| It’s a musical
|
| Whaddaya-talk whaddaya-talk
|
| It’s a musical
|
| A Seussical?
|
| No a musical
|
| With girls on stage
|
| A musical
|
| NOSTRADAMUS
|
| We’ve got sappy repartee
|
| And the women are risqué
|
| And the boys are kind-of gay
|
| A musical
|
| NOSTRADAMUS
|
| A true blue new
|
| NOSTRADAMUS & Musical
|
| NOSTRADAMUS
|
| Stand back!
|
| It’s a musical
|
| Some musicals are very serious
|
| A big glittering
|
| NOSTRADAMUS & Musical
|
| A musical
|
| (in the style of Annie)
|
| It’s a musical for us
|
| NOSTRADAMUS
|
| A big and shiny
|
| Mighty fine-y
|
| Glitter, glitz and line-y
|
| Bob your head and shake your hiney
|
| Musical
|
| It’s a musical (it's a musical)
|
| It is a musical (it's a musical)
|
| NICK
|
| YES! |
| I get it now!
|
| (sung)
|
| We’ll do a musical
|
| NOSTRADAMUS
|
| No kidding!
|
| NICK
|
| A musical
|
| What could be more amazing than
|
| A musical
|
| With song and dance, and sweet romance
|
| And with a musical we might have half a chance
|
| BOTH
|
| Oohs, aahs, big applause
|
| With everyone cheering for us
|
| NOSTRADAMUS
|
| And for some unexplainable reason
|
| The crowd goes wild every time
|
| When dancers kick in unison
|
| In one big won-der-ful line
|
| ALL
|
| And then you got yourself
|
| A musical
|
| A musical
|
| A la-la-la-la-la-la-la-paloozical
|
| With splashy style
|
| And a big, fake smile
|
| A snazzy handsome, jazzy hands
|
| I swear that I’ll
|
| Cross my heart, hope to die
|
| If it isn’t a doozy
|
| NOSTRADAMUS
|
| Take it from me
|
| They’ll be flocking to see
|
| BOTH
|
| Your star-lit, won’t quit, big hit
|
| Musical
|
| ALL
|
| A big hit musical! |