| We’ll book this tour and it’ll be oh so good
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| But we’re gonna steal your guarantee
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| Oh steer clear
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| We’re on a wicked path
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| We’ve got plans
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| Wicked Plans
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| And it’s the least we can do
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| Because we gotta get ours somehow
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| It would be too easy making ten percent off the tours we book for you
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| So we figure we’ll take as much as we can because it’s not up to you
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| The music the bands provide bring the kids to the shows
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| But you know we just don’t care
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| Because there are a lot of other bands we can use
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| if you don’t want this tour
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| And the point is
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| Even though everyone knows we treat the bands like shit
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| Nobody has the guts to speak out
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| Because they’re afraid that they won’t get
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| the tours at the end of the day
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| You fucking kids have gotta learn the golden rules:
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| You gotta use who you can on your way to the middle
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| You only give a favor for a favor in return
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| You get burned when you turn the other cheek
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| We don’t believe you kids are so naive
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| to think that things could change
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| Because nothing ever changes in the real world
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| And we’re gonna drive that message home
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| Because money fills the gas tank in your van |