| Poor Mr. Chisholm
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| Played on the mandolin
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| But he couldn’t win
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| Cause he tried to swing
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| And he broke a string every time
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| Poor Mr. Chisholm
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| Just couldn’t dig the jive
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| When he did arrive at the proper note
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| He arrived by boat every time
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| He tried to jazz up his mandolin
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| But never could quite control it
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| He always brought Bach and Handel in
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| When it took a lick, he always broke a pick
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| Poor Mr. Chisholm
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| You’re quite a gay old blade
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| With your serenade, but you’re corny, Jack
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| Better truck on back to Dubuque
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| Get a Uke-
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| You disgrace your kin
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| On the mandolin every time |