Lyrics Church Chat - Frank Zappa

Church Chat

You know today the church is in a terrible state.
the bucks just arent rollin
in like they used to.
and when the bucks dont come in, the church comes up with
a new gimmick to make you spend to Heaven.
Now I know you dont know what Im talking about, but what the fuck.
but anyway, listen to this ladies and gentlemen, when the church wants to get
your money they remind you about hell.
(whoo-ho
-ha-ha)
If you commit a sin youre gonna go to hell.
(oui-oui)
Well let me give you an example, this boy over here;
Tell em about it brother zappa.
Sometimes people say: that if you fuck somebody (oh lord) its a sin,
(oui-oui) this may or may not be true.
(testify)
This boy not only fucked somebody with his organ, but he also fucked a girl
with a guitar, with an umbrella, with a zuchinni, with a shoe, with an enema
bag.
..
What else did you do?
A vibrato bar.
A vibrato bar!
Some people would say this is a sin.
and if you sin youre gonna go to hell.
Well ladies and gentlemen:
There aint no hell.
(oui)
There is no such thing as hell.
(oui)
There is no hell, there is only france!
(oui-oui)
Oui, oui