| Two men sit in the corner of a diner
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| Both of them look quite a bit like Carl Reiner
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| One of them is smoking even though the sign says not to
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| The waitress says to stop, he says «Sorry, but I’ve got to»
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| They tell each other jokes that they both know that they both know
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| They talk about real estate, prostates, Costco
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| And when they finish up they leave a twenty on the table
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| The waitress picks it up with their half-eaten bagels
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| And when her shift is over she goes back to Mineola
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| Sits on the couch, opens up a diet cola and says
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| I’m so
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| I’m so sick of this place
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| I’m so ready for a change of pace
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| I’m just looking for a new routine
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| So she spins her globe
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| And the next thing you know
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| She’s living in Liechtenstein
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| She doesn’t speak German, only high school Spanish
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| But within a few weeks she discovers she can manage
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| But there’s not much going on except for banking and skiing
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| So she breaks up with the man that she just started seeing
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| He drops her at the airport in a diesel Mercedes
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| Thinks to himself «I'm so feeble with the ladies and I
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| I’m so
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| I’m so sick of this place
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| I’m so ready for a change of pace
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| I’m just looking for a new routine"
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| So he grabs his cap
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| Throws a dart at a map
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| And now he’s living in Bowling Green
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| He talks his way into
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| A job at La Quinta
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| Falls for the manager
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| Who’s moving back to Canada
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| She’s tried Roanoke, Reykjavik, Rome
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| Says «You're really sweet but I just want to go home»
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| Two men sit in the corner of a diner
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| One of them says «I might take a trip to China
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| It’s one of those things we should do before we’re too old»
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| «Thanks but no thanks, bring me back an egg roll»
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| Bring it back
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| Bring it back
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| Bring it back
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| Bring it back |