| Today I looked up how long it would take to drown
|
| Today I looked up how long it would take to drown
|
| How long can you hold your breath before you can’t hold your breath any longer?
|
| And how long until your lungs give out and the sound that used to fill the void,
|
| quiets like a mouse at midnight, searching for its piece of the pie
|
| Today I stood in front of a window and imagined what it would be like to fly
|
| No I didn’t, I imagined what it would be like to jump outside the frame that
|
| caged me inside
|
| But my better judgement said it wouldn’t be very kind if someone you cared
|
| about found you
|
| That’s the voice that plays like a tape on rewind
|
| Rewind
|
| Rewind
|
| It wouldn’t be fair to a stranger either
|
| Today I’m reminded of the time I watched a man jump into a highway when I was
|
| just seventeen
|
| The car lights on either side of the upper portion of the auto route below
|
| standing at attention
|
| Staring off into the distance, just waiting for the road to clear,
|
| and the way to the comfort of their loved ones to be made
|
| Death is a strange and hollow inconvenience when you think about it
|
| There’s a blank face that quickly and abruptly finds its way to all who witness
|
| something of that magnitude
|
| It’s not empathy, it’s not sympathy, it’s more of a forced, intrinsic,
|
| and integral self-reflection
|
| Why would someone do such a thing?
|
| What could drive someone to that type of depth?
|
| Could I, be driven to such depths?
|
| Would I ever be able to jump?
|
| There is no place to be soft in these moments
|
| Jump
|
| There’s no time to be caught in this moment
|
| Jump
|
| There’s no need to believe there ever was a moment
|
| Jump
|
| Sigh, believe, relief, in this moment
|
| 'Cause I could never be the one to be in this moment
|
| Or could I?
|
| Jump
|
| Today I looked up how long it would take to drown
|
| Do you first hold your breath, do you exhale all of your problems and worries
|
| before casting your thoughts to the bottom of an otherwise empty place below
|
| the poverty line of depressed thoughts and the sad calamity of a haunted house
|
| you’ve called home
|
| I don’t know
|
| Maybe someone out there has an answer
|
| But for now I’m still trying to come to terms with the fact that today I looked
|
| up how long it would take to drown |