| The comedy of man starts like this
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| Our brains are way too big for our mothers' hips
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| And so Nature, she divines this alternative
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| We emerged half-formed and hope that whoever greets us on the other end
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| Is kind enough, oh, to fill us in
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| And, babies, that’s pretty much how it’s been ever since
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| Now the miracle of birth leaves a few issues to address
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| Like, say, that half of us are periodically iron deficient
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| So somebody’s got to go kill something while I look after the kids
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| I’d do it myself, but what, are you going to get this thing its milk?
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| He says as soon as he gets back from the hunt, we can switch
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| Oh, it’s hard not to fall in love with something so helpless
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| Oh, ladies, I hope we don’t end up regretting this
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| C’mon, boys
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| Oh comedy, now that’s what I call pure comedy
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| Just waiting until the part where they start to believe
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| They’re at the center of everything
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| And some all-powerful being endowed this horror show with meaning
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| Oh comedy
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| Their religions are the best
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| They worship themselves yet they’re totally obsessed
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| With risen zombies, celestial virgins, magic tricks, these unbelievable outfits
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| And they get terribly upset
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| When you question their sacred texts
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| Written by woman-hating epileptics
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| Their languages just serve to confuse them
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| Their confusion somehow makes them more sure
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| They build fortunes poisoning their offspring
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| And hand out prizes when someone patents the cure
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| Where did they find these goons they elected to rule them?
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| What makes these clowns they idolize so remarkable?
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| These mammals are hell-bent on fashioning some new gods
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| So they can go on being godless animals
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| Oh comedy, oh their illusions they have no choice but to believe
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| Their horizons that just forever recede
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| And how’s this for irony, their idea of being free is a prison of beliefs
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| That they never ever have to leave
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| Oh comedy, oh it’s like something that a madman would conceive!
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| The only thing that seems to make them feel alive is the struggle to survive
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| But the only thing that they request is something to numb the pain with
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| Until there’s nothing human left
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| Just random matter suspended in the dark
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| Well I hate to say it, but each other’s all we’ve got |