Lyrics I Killed Myself but I Didn't Die - Ezra Furman, The Harpoons

I Killed Myself but I Didn't Die

I killed myself but I didn’t die
She crossed her heart and stuck a needle in her eye
She promised me she’ll never leave me alone
She doesn’t sleep she only calls me on the phone all night
I went to school but I didn’t learn
I touch the fire but I didn’t feel the burn
Somehow I got desensitized to the world
I hate pop music and I hate that you can learn
I killed myself but I didn’t die
Now in the hospital they’re covering
None of the visitors can look me in the eye
They say «how are ya?"but they don’t apologize, oh no
And my mom came in, she was having trouble trying to speak
She could see that her boy was some sort of freak
I killed myself but I didn’t die
Now she’s my baby, she’s the apple of my eye
She only wants a sensitive guy
And I’ve been in and out of my mind three times
That’s just the way, the way I always was
I go to therapy but I don’t take the drugs
I try and really look my life in the face
I think I’m learning that there’s no way to escape, oh no
And the worst part is that I didn’t even really care
It’s just to be or not to be and either way I’m only barely there
I killed myself but I’m still around
I think the living dead will like me better now
I’m gonna socialize, I’m gonna go out more
I’ll be so beautiful with nothing