| Good Samaritans are something I can’t stand
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| Suppressing their own needs to lend a helping hand
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| Looking out for number one is my only creed
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| Self-preservation runs deep in my breed
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| I, me, mine suits me just fine
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| I won’t even give you the time
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| Go out and buy your own watch
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| I ask nothing of you but leave me be
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| Me, myself and I — Only these three apply
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| Me, myself and I — On these three I rely
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| Me, myself and I — My only true ally
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| Me myself and I — I’m greed personified
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| Thinking of myself is all I ever do
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| Not a single thought will I waste on you
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| My only concerns are things pertaining to me
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| Don’t bother trying to find any generosity
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| I, me, mine suits me just fine
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| I won’t even give you the time
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| Go out and buy your own watch
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| I ask nothing of you but leave me be
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| No charity, no one rides for free
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| No solicitors, can’t you f*ckin' read?
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| Take your social clauses and your empty pleas
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| Me, myself and I is the only thing for me |