Lyrics Tragic Events Part II - Evelyn Evelyn, Amanda Palmer, Jason Webley

Tragic Events Part II

Are you crying Evelyn?
No… Well, yes.
I was just thinking about Sandy.
And about Bimba and Kimba.
I miss them Evelyn
I know, I miss them too.
Especially this time of year, Evelyn
The year is 1991, Terminator 2 is the highest-grossing film at the Box Office,
the first Super Nintendo Entertainment System has just been released and after
70 years of Communist rule the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics has
collapsed
And on a chicken ranch just at side of Claxton, Georgia twin sisters are
waiting for their supper
The farm is old and operated by Alfred McCluck, an eccentric man with a
fascination with Civil War weaponry.
McCluck’s chicken farms produces over 140,
000 chickens a year and ships wings, thighs and legs all over the continental
United States
Despite the modest success of his business, McCluck leads a solitary life,
never marrying and tending several of the chicken houses himself.
A simple man with a not entirely bad heart.
McCluck never knew how to best
take care of the young girls who came into his life shortly after their birth,
so
He raised them the only way he knew how — in a 2-foot by 2-foot wire mesh cage
on a diet of mash, crumbles, pellets and egg booster
One clear September day during the twins sixth year at the farm McCluck does
not come at mealtime.
Night falls and still he doesn’t appear.
The girls and
the chickens cry out from hunger
Days pass and the chickens in neighboring cage has begin to die.
The smell of rotting poultry permeates the air of the hot, humid barn
Finally, desperate to find food and concerned over the whereabouts of their
guardian, the twins break free from their cage
McCluck’s house is locked tight, but the girls find the garden hose,
which quenches their thirst.
Still half delirious with hunger, they make their
way out to the road
Little time passes before a dusty black Cadillac Coupe de Ville drives by and
pulls over.
A tall, mustached young man with a kindly face steps out of the
vehicle.
He smiles at the girls
(Hello)
And presents them with the first candy they had ever tasted — a Twix bar
Which they share in silent, odd delight
The girls do not feel at all uncomfortable when the man leads them gently into
the dark, spacious trunk
In the following days the girls are transferred into the trunks or several
other cars by many other kindly, candy bar offering men until they reach their
final destination at the lakeside lodge in Manitoba
The Underwood lodge is a collection of cozy, water front cabins with an
attached trailer park along the shores of lake Winnipeg
It is also the world headquarters of Budding Flowers Entertainment
Specializing in the production and distribution of photographs and VHS tapes
for clientele with unique tastes
The girls are welcomed by Mrs. Deborah Bouldger, the 52-year-old portraitist
(Well, hello, girls)
A women of enormous proportions who lives with her own 3 children in the main
lodge of the Underwood
Upon finding that the girls have no names she them Eva and Lynn, names,
which neither she, nor the twins themselves are ever able to keep straight
(Eva, Lynn)
The twin’s days of the Underwood are relatively comfortable, they are well
cared for, the food is delicious and there are many other girls their age
Once a week, photo sessions take place, convivial affairs that involve make-up,
a wide variety of dress up costumes and inventive new games
(Smile!)
Every few days Mrs. Bouldger introduces the girls to one of their many uncles
(Eva, Lyn, say hello to your uncle Mark)
(Heeey)
These uncles, seemingly endless in number, travel from all over the world to
visit their nieces
The girls don’t always like their new uncles, but Mrs. Bouldger is always quick
to remind them that 'family is family' and 'blood is thicker than water'
The conjoined sisters are not popular amongst the other girls, however,
one gentle resident, a few years their senior befriends them and takes them
under her wing
(Hello, what’s your name?)
Her name is Sandy
(I'm Sandy)
She has soft, blond hair that reaches down to her knees
Everyone says she looks like a mermaid
Dressed daily by Mrs. Bouldger in trademark fishnet stockings and vintage
attire, Sandy is by far the most popular girl of the Underwood.
She has so many
uncles that the twins lose count
Every night after dinner and chores, Sandy talks the young sisters into bed and
tells them fantastic stories until they fall peacefully to sleep
(And after the three long weeks at sea Jean Luc the sailor finally spotted land)
But these happy times do not last.
Shortly after the twins' third Christmas
under Mrs. Bouldger’s care, Sandy disappears — never to return
The twins remain in the Underwood for the greater part of two, long,
miserable years.
Without Sandy to protect them, they are ostracized and abused
by the other girls
(What are YOU looking at, 4-eyes?!)
The photo sessions involve fewer fancy costumes and over time, their uncles
become more peculiar
(Did I ask you to talk?)
The twins begin to notice the disturbing tendency for girls, much like their
dear friend Sandy — to quietly disappear from the Underwood around their 12th
or 13th birthday.
The sisters brace themselves for something terrible
One autumn, when the girls are eleven, an old man, who speaks only Spanish,
takes the twins into a large, orange van and drives them to their new home
(Step right up, step right up, see amazing human oddities, freaks of nature,
be warned, people with heart condition, children, women — we will accept no
responsibility for fainting, reoccurring nightmares, or death)
Dillard and Fullerton, elusive and illogical traveling show is the 12th largest
touring circus in North America.
Former insurance salesman, Dillard and
Fullerton, distinguish their enterprise by procuring the most shocking specimen
of the grotesque and unusual.
Their small administrative staff works tirelessly
to combat legal actions and public allegations of animal cruelty and human
slave trafficking
(What?)
Life in the circus is harder than their time at the Underwood.
There is always
work to be done.
In addition to their chores of laundry and sweeping, Mr.
Dillard insist that the twins spend many hours each day practicing their act
(What are you standing at for?)
The girls are frightened of the clowns, several of whom, by amazing coincidence,
also happen to be their uncles
(Hello, hello, hello!)
But still, overall these early days at the circus are happy time for the twins
Every night to the delight of audiences across the country, the girls appear in
the center ring, singing and strumming the ukulele, at the top of Bimba and
Kimba — the world’s only known conjoined twin Siamese elephants
The twins feel they have found true soul mates in Bimba and Kimba,
who they affectionately refer to as 'Elephant, Elephant'.
This special bond is
reciprocates by the pachyderms, who fondly nozzle the girls with their trunks
and seem to delight in giving them rides
The twins and the elephants are inseparable
With the help of the Alphonso de Arresting, the animal trainer, the twins tend
to the elephants, feeding them and grooming them daily
But one terrible August morning, Bimba and Kimba refuse to take their food.
Due to the unsanitary conditions of their quarters and an improper diet of
popcorn and cotton candy, the elephants have contracted a rare form of
elephantine diphtheria compounded by early onset Alzheimer’s disease
For the next two weeks can only stand by helplessly, as their companions become
sicker and weaker and begin displaying obvious signs of memory loss.
The last few days are almost unbearable.
With Bimba and Kimba’s confused,
sad eyes looking up at the girls with great anguish, but no hint of
recognition
And on one, grim, September day
The sisters 16th birthday
Elephant Elephant dies
The funeral is held at the same day a grizzly affair had an industrial trash
compactor behind a Home Depot in Fort Dodge Iowa
The twins are devastated.
Without Bimba and Kimba life is but a terrible and
meaningless void.
They resign themselves to living out the rest of their hollow
existence in solemn mourning
The emotionally exhausted sisters fall from favor within the circus
No longer willing to sing and play their ukulele, the girls are dressed in a
pink tutu and forced to balance on the giant red ball, an impossible task for
the conjoined sisters
(Get on that damn ball!)
The audience roars with laughter each time they awkwardly fall
Their discomfort is increased by a pair of radical groups who have taken an
interest in the twins.
Every night in most major city, protesters assemble,
nosily waving signs and chanting slogans in front of the Box Office
The first faction claims to represent an organization called 'FASSEN' - the
Foundation for Always Separating Siamese Twins Everywhere Now
Citing the bible, FASSEN members vehemently believe that it is the will of the
Lord that all conjoined twins be separated and allowed to live individual lives.
Wielding symbolical surgical saws and blunt carbon knives, FASSEN members for
supporting the abomination of god
The second group operates under the acronym SPLIT — the Society for the
Preservation of Linked Identical Twins
A reactionary organization, working to discredit the claims of FASSEN,
SPLIT believes that conjoined twins will play a critical role in the second
coming of Christ
The twins are terrified by both groups — the knives and saws make them very
nervous and SPLIT members make threats to kidnap the girls and take them to
where they will be kept safe in a place of darkness until the rapture
One day before Sunday matinee, a chaotic brawl erupts between the two factions
and one FASSEN member gets alarmingly close to the twins with a hacksaw
Stricken with fear, the sisters decide that they are no longer safe at the
circus
That night, they make a resolution — to leave the Dillard and Fullerton
traveling show — FOREVER