| Aiyyo whassup E man?
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| Yo coolin PMD
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| True true man, I just been lampin man
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| So what you been up to lately man?
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| Just been loungin man, knowhatI’msayin?
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| True true man, yo man, who’s your boy over there man?
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| Oh that’s my man from out of town
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| Oh word man? |
| Yo whassup man? |
| My name is P man
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| How you doin man? |
| My name is Frankie Anto man
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| But my friends, they call me Frank B
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| Oh word man? |
| Nice to meet you man
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| So yo man E, what you gettin into tonight man?
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| Yo P man I’m bout to flex downtown to this club
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| Word man? |
| Yo man, that sounds cool man
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| I think I’m with that man — yo you wan' do that?
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| Let’s do this man
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| Aight bet man
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| Yo, yo hold up wait a minute guys man
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| You guys mind if I go witchu to this club man?
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| Ahah aiyyo man E I don’t know about that man
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| Last time we took somebody with us man
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| we had to carry him home man, he got out of control
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| The whole nine yars, yaknowhatI’msayin man?
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| Nah man, that’s not me man, I can handle my liquor man
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| I just go to have a good time and DANCE man
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| Drinkin is no problem to me, stuff tastes like fruit punch
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| Are you sure man?
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| Positive man -- positively positive
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| Aight man, l-let's take him then
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| We went out that night
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| To a club downtown
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| That was very high class
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| And had boomin sounds
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| We went in
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| And we were dressed to impress
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| Fly women and girlies
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| Lookin their very best
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| We took a seat at the bar
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| Feelin brand new
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| Frank ordered drinks, no liquor
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| Just plain old brew
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| He finished it
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| Then he ordered one more
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| And another
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| And another
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| And that made four
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| He seen this fly girlie
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| Suave and deboinaire
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| Light skinned complexion
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| With long black hair
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| But this girl was ug-ly
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| I mean her body was through
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| But after four drinks or more
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| She looked like Paula Abdul
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| You know what baby? |
| You startin to look good
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| You startin to look REAL good
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| You startin to remind me of that superstar — Paula Abdul
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| The party was over
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| It was time to go
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| You insisted on drivin
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| When we said no
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| Nah guys, y’know? |
| I can drive myself home man
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| That ain’t gonna be no problem
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| I drive better when I feel nice (P: Are you sure man?)
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| Are you kidding me man?
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| That stuff in there, that stuff in there taste like fruit punch
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| I could drink that all night
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| So you got in your car
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| Swervin on the road
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| There was a cop in the bushes
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| On radar patrol
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| The light turned green
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| And you decided to stop
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| It turned red
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| You took off
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| And got pulled over by a cop
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| Chorus: repeat 4X
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| You overdid it homes
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| You had too much to drink
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| * police siren sound *
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| Ah excuse me, can I see your license and registration please?
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| I don’t have my license registration right NOW
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| But if you give me a chance, I can go home and get it
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| Oh what are you a wiseguy son?
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| No I don’t mean to be a wiseguy officer
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| The honest truth, what really happened is
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| I just came from a plane from Dominican Republic
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| By the time I got to Motor Vehicle, Motor Vehicle was closed
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| Oh it was closed?
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| Yeah it was closed
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| Oh what’s your name son?
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| My name is Frankie Nato, but my friends, they call me Frank B
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| How bout you officer — whatchu call yourself?
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| Oh this guy’s a real wiseguy
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| Who’s the young lady in the passenger seat?
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| You don’t know who that is? |
| That’s a superstar
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| Paula Abdul, say hi Paula
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| Oh yeah that’s Paula Abdul?
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| Have you been drinkin son?
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| Oh no I don’t drink man, the only thing I drink is fruit punch
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| OK son you wanna turn your car off
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| And leave the keys in the ignition and come with me please?
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| Where we goin officer?
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| I want you to come sit in the backseat
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| And blow in this tube for me please
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| Wait a minute, I ain’t no faggot
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| I never blow anything in my life, and don’t plan to
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| How bout you officer — you blowin anything?
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| Just blow into the tube son
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| Okay okay man * blows into the tube *
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| Oh what’s this man? |
| Two point oh?
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| Oh Guns’n’Roses dude!
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| You might as well get?
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| Cause you goin downtown sonny, you’re drunk!
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| So whatchu tryin to tell me officer?
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| You tryin to tell me that that machine, tell me I’m drunk man?
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| Somethin wrong with that machine
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| That machine need a good fixin man
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| That’s what I think officer
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| No you know what I think son?
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| I think you need a good lawyer |
| Let me tell you officer, I have a lawyer
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| My lawyer is so good, SO SO good
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| And by the time he’s finished witchu, you gonna be workin in Alaska
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| So dress warm, as a matter of fact
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| I suggest you go out and buy yourself a sheepdog
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| Cause it gets BITTERLY cold out there
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| Have you ever been coolin
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| On a Friday night
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| Wit your friends gettin wasted
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| Just feelin nice
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| You continued to drink
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| When you know you should stop
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| The next thing you know
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| You’re behind is caught
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| Your body gets numb
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| So you slow up the pace
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| Your mouth gets watery
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| And you can’t feel your face
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| You finally make it home
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| And the fun begins
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| You try to pass out
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| But here comes the spins
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| So you turn and toss
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| Then you toss and turn
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| Your head gets light
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| And your chest starts to burn
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| So you lay on your stomach
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| And you tuck in your chin
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| Pail by your bedside
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| Now the breathing begins
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| Oh, oh God, just let me get through this last one
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| If you let me make it
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| If you let me make it through the night God
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| I promise I’ll never have another drink again
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| I’ll never drink again, as long as I live
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| You overdid it
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| Hey yo this is EPMD tellin you not to drink and drive
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| Cause ain’t nuttin cool about chillin in a coffin six feet under
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| YouknowwhatI’msayin?
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| Yo, this is Frank B
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| And learn from others mistakes homes!
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| And don’t let peer pressure get to you
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| Cause it costs you, or your life, or somebody else’s life
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| In the long run
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| And it’s like that
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| And if you don’t believe you can get the bozack
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| See-ya! |