| My tea’s gone cold I’m wondering why I
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| Got out of bed at all
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| The morning rain clouds up my window
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| And I can’t see at all
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| And even if I could it’ll all be gray
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| But your picture on my wall
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| It reminds me, that it’s not so bad
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| It’s not so bad
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| Dear Slim, I wrote but you still ain’t callin
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| I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
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| I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
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| There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin
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| Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
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| But anyways; |
| f*ck it, what’s been up? |
| Man how’s your daughter?
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| My girlfriend’s pregnant too, I’m bout to be a father
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| If I have a daughter, guess what I’ma call her?
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| I’ma name her Bonnie
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| I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I’m sorry
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| I had a friend kill himself over some b*tch who didn’t want him
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| I know you probably hear this everyday, but I’m your biggest fan
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| I even got the underground sh*t that you did with Skam
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| I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
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| I like the sh*t you did with Rawkus too, that sh*t was fat
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| Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back
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| Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
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| This is Stan
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| My tea’s gone cold I’m wondering why I
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| Got out of bed at all
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| The morning rain clouds up my window
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| And I can’t see at all
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| And even if I could it’ll all be gray
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| But your picture on my wall
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| It reminds me, that it’s not so bad
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| It’s not so bad
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| Dear Slim, you still ain’t called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
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| I ain’t mad — I just think it’s F*CKED UP you don’t answer fans
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| If you didn’t wanna talk to me outside your concert
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| You didn’t have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew
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| That’s my little brother man, he’s only six years old
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| We waited in the blistering cold for you
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| Four hours and you just said, No
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| That’s pretty shitty man — you’re like his f*ckin idol
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| He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
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| I ain’t that mad though, I just don’t like bein lied to
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| Remember when we met in Denver — you said if I’d write you
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| You would write back — see I’m just like you in a way
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| I never knew my father neither;
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| He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
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| I can relate to what you’re saying in your songs
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| So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on
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| Cause I don’t really got shit else so that shit helps when I’m depressed
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| I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
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| Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
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| It’s like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
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| See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
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| My girlfriend’s jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
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| But she don’t know you like I know you Slim, no one does
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| She don’t know what it was like for people like us growin up
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| You gotta call me man, I’ll be the biggest fan you’ll ever lose
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| Sincerely yours, Stan — P. S. we should be together too
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| My tea’s gone cold I’m wondering why I
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| Got out of bed at all
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| The morning rain clouds up my window
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| And I can’t see at all
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| And even if I could it’ll all be gray
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| But your picture on my wall
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| It reminds me, that it’s not so bad
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| It’s not so bad
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| Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans
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| This’ll be the last package I ever send your a*s
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| It’s been six months and still no word — I don’t deserve it?
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| I know you got my last two letters
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| I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
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| So this is my cassette I’m sending you, I hope you hear it
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| I’m in the car right now, I’m doing 90 on the freeway
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| Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
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| You know the song by Phil Collins, In the Air of the Night
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| About that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning
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| But didn’t, then Phil saw it all, then at a a show he found him?
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| That’s kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning
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| Now it’s too late — I’m on a 1000 downers now, I’m drowsy
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| And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
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| I hope you know I ripped +ALL+ of your pictures off the wall
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| I love you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it
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| You ruined it now, I hope you can’t sleep and you dream about it |
| And when you dream I hope you can’t sleep and you SCREAM about it
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| I hope your conscience EATS AT
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| Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
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| You said your girlfriend’s pregnant now, how far along is she?
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| Look, I’m really flattered you would call your daughter that
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| And here’s an autograph for your brother
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| I wrote it on the Starter cap
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| I’m sorry I didn’t see you at the show, I musta missed you
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| Don’t think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you
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| But what’s this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
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| I say that shit just clowning dog
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| C’mon — how f*cked up is you?
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| You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counselling
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| To help your as* from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
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| And what’s this shit about us meant to be together?
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| That type of shit’ll make me not want us to meet each other
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| I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
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| Or maybe you just need to treat her better
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| I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
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| Before you hurt yourself, I think that you’ll be doin just fine
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| If you relax a little, I’m glad I inspire you but Stan
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| Why are you so mad? |
| Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
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| I just don’t want you to do some crazy sh*t
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| I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
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| Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
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| And had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid
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| And in the car they found a tape, but they didn’t say who it was to
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| Come to think about, his name was it was you Damn! |