| Sitting here on Christmas Eve with a brandy in my hand
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| Oh I’ve had a few too many and it’s getting hard to stand
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| I keep hearing noises from my fireplace
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| I must be going crazy or the brandy’s won the race
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| And I keep hearing ho ho ho, guess who’s here
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| Your fat and jolly friend draws near
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| Ho ho ho, surprise, surprise
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| The bearded weirdy’s just arrived
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| Ho ho ho, guess who’s here
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| Your fat and jolly friend draws near
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| Ho ho ho, surprise surprise
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| The bearded wierdy’s just arrived
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| On my roof there’s snorting sounds, and bells inside my head
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| My vision’s blurred with colour, and all he sees is red
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| There’s a pair of large sized wellies coming down my flue
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| And the smell of burning rubber, oh is filling up the room |