| Once I saw the galaxies in your Jack and Coke eyes,
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| And the sacrificial temple where your monster always dies.
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| Once I wrote a gospel out of every word you say,
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| And now you’re on the front page of the USA Today.
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| Cutting to the front of the line I find my mind
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| Is no place to raise a family.
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| And I was looking all over for you, baby.
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| You were always right in front of me.
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| And tonight I’m declaring your love to be a waste of time and money.
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| Once I raised alpacas with your pet Komodo dragon,
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| While I was eating cardboard in my father’s station wagon.
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| Once I sold everything I owned to buy you a diamond ring,
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| And now you’re over at CNN sitting down with Larry King.
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| After 5 bottles of wine my friends opine that I should consider therapy,
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| But they’ve clearly never been with you, baby,
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| They don’t know about the things that you’ve told me,
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| And tonight I am declaring my life is a joke no longer funny.
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| All publicity is good publicity
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| When you sell your conscience in this city
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| Achieving high elasticity
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| Shock resistant with electricity |