Lyrics For Avoidance of Any Doubt - Eleanor McEvoy

For Avoidance of Any Doubt

Dear Sir, we are writing to you
On behalf of our client who is very distressed
Cause Sir, she did furnish to you
Her relevant numbers and her e-mail address
Aforementioned client feels hard done
Aforementioned numbers remain 'un-rung'
We hope you’ll note this matter is a serious one
And for avoidance of any doubt…
She’s waiting by the phone
Waiting by the fax
Goin' to check the post
Heading out to fast track
Charging up her cell
Hopin' for a text
Opening up her e-mail
Not a word from you…
Not a single word…
Dear Sir, it is further alleged
On an earlier occasion, end of January
That you, did then solemnly pledge
To call or text our client and did further agree
In a period not exceeding «very soon» to have tried
To take her out to dinner any number of times
Sir, we deem this period to now have expired
But for avoidance of any doubt…
She’s waiting by the phone
Waiting by the fax
Goin' to check the post
Heading out to fast track
Charging up her cell
Hopin' for a text
Opening up her e-mail
All she has is junk mail
Would it have been so hard for you to send her
An itsy-bitsy mail or a teeny-weeny letter?
We put it to you Sir, you’ve been found out
Beyond all reasonable doubt
She’s waiting by the phone
Waiting by the fax
Goin' to check the post
Heading out to fast track
Charging up her cell
Hopin' for a text
Opening up her e-mail
Given up on FedEx
Waiting by the phone
She’s waiting by the fax
She’s gone to check the post
She’s heading out to fast track
Charging up her cell
Hopin' for a text
Opening up her e-mail
Not a word from you
Notwithstanding regards to same
Our client hereforeto remains
Waiting by the phone…
Oh, waiting all alone
Oh, Sir