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| I’ve posed for pictures with Iv’ry Soap
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| I’ve petted stray dogs, and shied clear of dope
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| My smile is brilliant, my glance is tender
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| But I’m noted most for my unspoiled gender
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| I’ve been made Miss Reingold, though I never touch beer
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| And I’m the person to whom they say, «You're sweet, my dear, «The only etchings I’ve seen have been behind glass
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| And the closest I’ve been to a bar is at ballet class
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| Prim and proper, the girl who’s never been cased
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| I’m tired of being pure and not chased
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| Like something that seeks it’s level
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| I want to go to the devil
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| I want to be evil, I want to spit tacks
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| I want to be evil and cheat at jacks
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| I want to be wicked, I want to tell lies
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| I want to be mean and throw mud pies
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| I want to wake up in the morning
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| With that dark brown taste
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| I want to see some dissipation in my face
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| I want to be evil, I want to be mad
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| But more than that, I want to be bad
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| I want to be evil and trump an ace
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| Just to see my partner’s face
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| I want to be nasty, I want to be cruel
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| I want to be daring, I want to shoot pool
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| And in the theater, I want to change my seat
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| Just so I can step on everybody’s feet
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| I want to be evil, I want to hurt flies
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| I want to sing songs like the guy who cries
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| I want to be horrid, I want to drink booze
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| And whatever I’ve got, I’m eager to lose
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| I want to be evil, little evil me
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| Just as mean and evil as I can be! |