| Woke up so dizzy
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| Drunk and hungover
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| Can’t find my house keys
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| Who was the chauffeur?
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| Got one shoe on, and not the slightest clue
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| Where my cell phone is
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| What was the name, I was definitely on one
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| Ronda, Miranda, or Sandra?
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| Shouldn’t have mixed that light with the dark rum
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| Now I’m in the bathroom, throwing up a lung
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| Gotta make a run for that Gatorade punch
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| Head pounding on the one like an 808 drum
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| Gotta grab Pho, hangover 101
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| It soaks it all up, you should know that bruh
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| Pocket full of numbers covered in weed crumbs
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| I’m a lover not a fighter, why my knuckles feel numb?
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| No pun intended but I really feel dumb
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| Found dead on my neighbors front lawn throwing up
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| Seems last night I was acting like a fool
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| Tagged Facebook pictures of me jumping in a pool
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| Wearing nothing but a hat and my birthday suit
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| I was smashed to the max on a work day too
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| But I looked overjoyed in my polaroid pics
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| With my mustache fresh looking like a koi fish
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| My swag turned up on that soulja boy shit
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| Feeling real good about my bad choices
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| Who in the world is the girl in my bed?
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| Who’s the dude on the couch with dreads?
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| And why in the hell was I drinking so much?
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| Shoulda stuck with the weed like Breezy told us
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| Now I’m looking for the Folgers, awake from a coma
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| Making my way through empty bottles of Corona
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| Follow the aroma, it leads to the doja
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| Roll up, smoke up, and do it all over
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| Woke up so dizzy
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| Drunk and hungover
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| Can’t find my house keys
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| Who was the chauffeur?
|
| Got one shoe on, and not the slightest clue
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| Where my cell phone is
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| Friday night, just got paid
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| Brand new fit, clean boy shave
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| Feeling good, pregame, my place
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| The homies came through with a gang of fade
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| They said they’re trying to get loose in a major way
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| So they sip Grey Goose no juice just straight
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| (What it do young buck, pour a cup) I’m straight
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| I’m waiting on the tree, I got fifty on the Z
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| Plus, I ain’t even ate
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| Ya’ll go heavy in the paint, I’ll go heavy on the dank
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| You go heavy on the drink, and gon' end up on your face
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| Not me, not me
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| But I, don’t think I’mma get my weed
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| No time soon I’mma have to proceed
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| To consume the first thing I see
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| A little OJ and another Belvadee
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| Two shots for her, two shots for me
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| The more that we booze, the less that we see
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| Now that is more booze than Apollo The-
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| -atre, up like I’m big on the tree, later
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| Outside pissing on the street, haters
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| Cops came through on the creep, gave me
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| A ticket and a mufuckin' speech
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| And meanwhile on repeat
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| «Shots, shots, shots, shots»
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| I’m thinking stop, it’s not that deep, damn
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| Trying to give it all I got, got
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| And then I threw up in the god damn sink, that’s weak
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| Woke up so dizzy
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| Drunk and hungover
|
| Can’t find my house keys
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| Who was the chauffeur?
|
| Got one shoe on, and not the slightest clue
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| Where my cell phone is
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| There’s an unfamiliar ceiling in this place
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| With a very familiar feeling of disgrace
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| As my eyes open up for the first time after
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| Another blackout, catastrophe, disaster
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| And captures the image of the rafters above
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| And the cold concrete on my back is enough
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| To wake me and make me stand up in amazement
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| Where is this unfinished basement?
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| How’d I get here, I need to get home
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| But I can’t leave until I find my key and my phone
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| Then I see a girl asleep and alone in the corner
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| I walk toward her not knowing for sure who she was
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| I just hoped that her phone was on
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| And I ain’t spoken to my girl, I told her I would call her
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| Tapped on her cold shoulder, when she rolled over, I saw her, damn
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| My memory is better than I think
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| I remember last night, had her bent over the sink
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| In the bathroom, staring at her lower back tattoo
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| Flashback boom and I’m back to the new
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| Back to the what now, what am I gonna do
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| Picked up her phone and dialed my own number to
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| See if I could hear it ringing, and sure enough
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| It’s on the floor of the bathroom with more of my stuff
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| Condom, keys and my wallet
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| An absent-minded strategic alcoholic
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| Strategic cause the condom wrapper was empty
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| Tip-toed out the door kinda gently
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| Woke up so dizzy
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| Drunk and hungover
|
| Can’t find my house keys
|
| Who was the chauffeur?
|
| Got one shoe on, and not the slightest clue
|
| Where my cell phone is |