| «I love you» means «do what I want you to»
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| «I promise» means I’ll tell you what you want to hear
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| «Believe me» means I’m trying very hard to deceive you
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| «The rest of my life» means «for the forseeable future»
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| «We'll always be together» means we’re too scared to split up
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| «I want us to live together» means I think this is what you want,
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| though I don’t, but we’ll probably split up soon anyway
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| «I didn’t stop thinking about you» means I thought about you once on the way
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| home from a great night out without you
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| «It doesn’t suit you» means I’m too polite to tell you that your legs are like
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| corned beef
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| «I'm not pissed» means I’m so pissed I reckon I can convince you that I haven’t
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| had a bottle of Jim Bean with my flatmate
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| «I didn’t look at anyone else» means I went out with the girls, got so drunk,
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| snogged every man I spoke to, and I’m feeling really guilty
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| «I want to have your children» means I’m pissed
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| «It happened a while ago» means I haven’t stopped thinking about it since
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| «What are you thinking?» |
| means I daren’t voice my feelings until I know exactly
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| how you feel about me
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| «You don’t understand me» means I’ve been lying to you from the very start
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| «I like you a lot» means I’m trying to persuade myself that I do
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| «I need some time to myself» means a night in with your best friend
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| Don’t worry, the voice in the background is only the TV
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| «Just friends» means I’ve slept with him once and I fully intend to do it again
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| «Don't you trust me?» |
| means if you believe the crap I’ve just told you…
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| «My ex» means my greatest regret
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| «I don’t fancy anyone else» is a lie
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| «I'm so confused» means I know what I want and it’s not you
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| «This isn’t working out» means I’ve no intention of making sure it does
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| «We've nothing in common any more» means we never did but it seemed like it
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| after a few pints
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| «You still have a special place in my heart» means I’ve met someone else
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| «Can we still be friends?» |
| means I know I’ve just broken your heart
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| «I don’t believe in love» means I’ve been hurt and I’m too scared to get
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| involved again
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| «I don’t want a serious relationship» means sex and no consequences
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| «There's no-one else» means there’s no-one else right now
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| «I'm not trying anything on» means I know you don’t want to but I reckon if I
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| keep trying you’ll give in
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| «He doesn’t understand me» means I’m feeling unloved
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| «I'd like to take you out some time» means this is my last desperate attempt to
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| pull tonight
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| «You're not my type» means you make my skin crawl
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| «All men are useless» means I’ve been hurt, again |