Lyrics Collide - Diabolic

Collide

This is for everybody out there… whoever fucked up their life
Or had someone close do it for 'em
My 3-year-old son says he wants to go to mommy’s
It’s heartbreaking, she’s been doing dope and roxies
I know it’s too much for him to understand
That she let drugs get the upper hand, fucking up his plans
I know he loves her but I don’t trust her
Enough to leave him alone in a home with his own mother
Oh brother, it’s bad enough my child support is turning
Into powder on the counter she’s about to snort
Now I’m out in court fighting over custody
Luckily, the judge can see it’s all about my son for me
Well luckily, they agreed, handed me the orders
Same court I dropped 12 G’s in to see my daughter
A lot’s happened since she moved away in '05
Her spiteful ass mom, homie believes her own lies
Her jealous husband calls my cell like I’ma tell my cousins
Out in Yonkers cuz where you live got me really buggin'
Detect the sarcasm, I don’t even bark at 'em but if I think
About the situation then my heart spasms
My daughter probably thinks her father doesn’t care, 'cuz I wasn’t there,
and it seems like her brother’s taking up her share
Plus I’m here with this good girl, she’s so great
She lies to me saying, «Baby it’ll be okay!»
There’s no way it’s okay I spent the whole day stressin' 'cuz my son’s sick,
and I can’t afford to co-pay
This is how my thoughts move and collide to live with the shit I do to survive
Moving through all the rumors and lies, I’m just trying to find the truth in
disguise
Folks say I should keep the faith, believe in god, but
God doesn’t answer when I’m praying for a decent job
It’s even harder watching people make a killin' while I stood by
A good guy, forced to play the villian
They say the way I’m feelin' actually defines you, plus the way you persevere
is why they get behind you
Rumor has it Babygrande wants to sign you, that’s crazy
Chuck’s a shady fuck, you’ve being lied to
I was forced to take my Viper deal and re-work it, 'cuz me losing an old friend
to business didn’t seem worth it
From the outside looking in, it seems perfect, when in fact, rap
Made my life a three-ring circus
Like I said I got a new girl, who leads her life responsibly
Her philosophy’s that it’ll be 'aight
Somehow I feel the need to fight, scream and hipe
Probably because I think I’m the piece of shit that I treat her like
I need advice, call tabs, weave 'em tight, Jesus Christ
I hope he calls back before I fall flat
And Sean snaps, 'cuz he don’t get enough sleep, it seems
Attention runs deep and eats at him like lunch meat
Leading him to believe the end is complete, and his
Heart breaks, and doesn’t mean he keeps the tempo up beat
It just means that unleash a beast is left to unleash
A shootin' spree, 'cuz as you see, it’s been a rough week
This is how my thoughts move and collide to live with the shit I do to survive
Moving through all the rumors and lies, I’m just trying to find the truth in
disguise