Lyrics Clean The Kit - Andrew Lloyd Webber, David Shannon, Michael Shaeffer

Clean The Kit

Soon I’m gonna be a man
Be a player, not a fan
'Cos that’s all I ever wanted since my life began
Gonna be a soccer star
Maybe drive a fancy car
Build a mansion in the country for my Ma and Pa
Gotta clean the kit
I’m so sick of it
Each day I have to go to school
Have to try to keep my cool
While I study for exams on how to be a fool
It’s no wonder I’m annoyed
'Cos the state is overjoyed
Just to teach a poor boy how to join the unemployed
I’m so sick of it
School and cleaning kit
One day, I won’t have to take it
'Cause I know I’m gonna make it
All I need’s a chance
And I’ll be on my way
Only fools obey the rules
Thy worked all day like stupid mules
I’m busting out of hre
I’ll do it one fine day
I ain’t eatin' shit
Cleaning people’s kit
(Meanwhile:)
Alright Thomas?
Don’t «alright» me, you Proddy git!
My cousin had the shit kicked out of him
last week by a bunch of you bowler-hatted bastards!
Nothing to do with me, mate.
I’m an atheist and an internationalist:
I recognize neither God nor country
Well, you’ll «recognize» a boot in your face if you show yourself around here
again, mate!
Now piss off, and never come back!
But the season’s just starting!
This is my team!
This is a Catholic team!
And you’ve just been suspended — permanently!
We mean it, Copeland: come around here again, and you’ll regret it!
You’re not fit to wear a kit
You bastard orange Proddy git
We’ll tear it off your back
And stuff it down your throat
Take our advice or pay the price
We certainly won’t warn you twice
The tide has turned
And soon we’ll be the ones to gloat
You’re a sodding Brit
Wearing Irish kit
(Back to JOHN, and now MARY:)
So you’re gonna be a man
Not a stupid also-ran
Well, I heard a lot of talk about your master plan
I don’t think you’ll be a star
You ain’t gonna go that far
You’re all talk and sod all action
You’re all blah blah blah!
Come to terms with it
Born to clean the kit
Your life’s a farce
Get off your arse
Take my advice
Get back in class
Or hang around
And moan and groan your life away
'Cos every hunk
Ends up a drunk
Just killing time
His prospects sunk
Still claiming that he’s gonna bust out one fine day
If the cap’ll fit
You’ll be wearing it
Stuck here cleaning kit
Have no fear
The time is near
This boy is busting out of here
I’ll be burning brightly
Once the flame is lit
I’ll make my mark
Light up the dark
Explosions start with just one spark
And then another lad
Will have to clean my kit!
I’m so sick of it
School and cleaning kit
You’re so full of it!
But one day
I’m
Not gonna take it!